


The Adventures of Richard,Hyung & Kelsie

by SpottyAnarchist5



Category: Original Work
Genre: 1960s Music, Alternate Universe - 1960s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Androids, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, April Fools' Day, Awkward Flirting, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Bathing/Washing, Bisexual Male Character, Breaking the Fourth Wall, British Comedy, British English, British Politics, British Slang, Communism, Consensual Kink, Courtroom Drama, Crossdressing, Cyborgs, Daddy Kink, Dark Comedy, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Dogs, Drama & Romance, Drunkenness, Easter, Electrocution, Explicit Language, Fights, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Foreign Language, Gen, Genderbending, Genderfluid Character, Hair Brushing, Heavy Angst, Historical Metaphors, Historical References, History Jokes, Ice Skating, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, Innuendo, Kissing, M/M, Manchester City, Medical Examination, Medical Procedures, Memes, Mental Health Issues, Modern Era, One-Sided Relationship, Original Character(s), Period-Typical Racism, Politics, Pop Culture, Prison, References to Drugs, References to Hitler, Roommates, Sassy, Satire, Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Social Commentary, Social Issues, Song Lyrics, Stereotypes, Swearing, Thunder and Lightning, Tickling, War, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 17:36:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 20,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpottyAnarchist5/pseuds/SpottyAnarchist5
Summary: The Adventures of Richard,Hyung and Kelsielater on characters like Richard's older sister Odelia,Adrian,Professor,Rudi and Harry join inthis is a slice of life comedy satire series of short stories (with some elements of Sci-fi,Romance and History)there are several references to Politics and pop culture but other than that this work is mostly fiction based with the exception of two stories that are based on real life events that are more serious in tone (as they reference two tragic real life events) compared to the comedic tone the other stories have.





	1. short story 1: The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Richard reacts when Hyung and Kelsie come back from a pub fight

 In South England lived an Austrian Goth named Richard, his Korean boyfriend Hyung and a bored Irishman called Kelsie.

Richard likes to draw and illustrate, he is immortal as he's been on earth since the 18th century 

he lived in a high class household with his older brother Raine and sister Odelia until he ran away as a teen 

he currently lives in London and is technically a demon but he hides his bat wings from the humans he encounters in everyday life

he is quite smart, he volunteered as an army medic, he's done drag and comedy and modelling as his jobs

in Ukraine during WWII he met Hyung from North Korea, in the 1970s he reunited with Hyung's modern ancestor of the same name and they travelled the world together, they settle in a flat together, occasionally Hyung visits his sisters Eun-Ji and Hee  

There's also Kelsie a 17-year-old descendant of Wiccan legends from Northern Ireland, Kelsie is a shy timid, wallflower but sometimes Kelsie is a cold sarcastic lad, sometimes quiet as a mouse other times the comic relief, Kelsie was another person Richard had met through their ancestor, 

 

Sometimes they got along, other times Richard would get overprotective and whiny, Hyung could have angry outbursts and times of alcoholism and Kelsie.....is there watching 

 

Kelsie and Hyung had gone off to the local pub, Kelsie wasn't a drinker so they just ordered food and watched while Hyung guzzled wine and danced on the dancefloor...however in the middle of desert Kelsie could see Hyung was getting in an argument over a dance-off he had as he was a competitive person 

 

some of the pub goers were intimidated, Kelsie hoped over to the dancefloor to knock some sense into him but just as Kelsie entered the showdown they ended up skidding along the floor bruising his leg Kelsie stood up and punched him in the nose, it was a weak punch but enough for Hyung to notice 

Kelsie cleared his throat before yelling "OI! STOP ACTING LIKE AN EIJJIT I WANT TO GO HOME AND I CAN'T NOW BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DRIVE!!"

Hyung bleched "Whatever kid, I'm bored anyway",  Kelsie grabbed Hyung by the ear as they walked outside while he called for a taxi 

 

as the taxi got into traffic Kelsie scrolled through his phone and gasped "Oh we are way past Richard's curfew time he's not going to be happy" Hyung smirked and put his hand round Kelsie's shoulder "Nah he'll be fine with it we're were only a little bit late anyways I'm sure I can stick the drama queen yelling at me again"  Kelsie folded his hands "This is why I don't go to public places with you that involve alcohol because you always get pissed and embarrass me 

"Shut up" Hyung mumbled 

Hyung and Kelsie stumbled into Richard's flat looking bruised while Hyung still looked intoxicated 

Richard paused the youtube video he was watching, quickly dried dishes he had already dried by the sink before he went  up to the front door 

he stood staring in his Joy Division t-shirt, patched punk Jacket and leggings looking stern at the two of them

"What time do you call this"? Richard said demanding while he folded his hands while still keeping his composure 

Hyung shrugged "What? they were asking for it?" while Kelsie rolled his eyes 

 Richard sighed,  and turning his head, ranting  he said

"Were they ? or were you fighting someone because you were pissed again?"

Hyung just casually responded, "Maybe"

Kelsie interjected quietly in a sarcastic tone "he kinda snapped in front of the lads"

Richard focused on his argument "I would scold you right now but I need to fix you up first"

 cuddling them both before beginning to admonish Hyung

"Don't you do that again" Richard whined in a high pitched tone

before holding them both in an embrace over dramatically "it's fine you don't need to hide it anymore"

as he muttered in his stern voice "Now don't do it again"

Hyung let out a burp impolitely mocked him and said "Don't worry I won't" he then mumbled "cumface" the nickname he would use for Richard when they'd argue.

he thought Richard couldn't hear him but he could Richard  lightly smacked Hyung's bottom and said "could you not" rolling his eyes as he walked over to Kelsie since Kelsie just happened to be at Hyung's pub fight and didn't actually participate Kelsie was only given a poke on the nose.

Richard continued to melodramatically complain "I should join you on our nights out more often if this is how he acts" 

Hyung groaned as Richard got out a first aid kit and started wrapping bandages over their bruises

he had now calmed down he smiled and sarcastically teased Hyung with his nickname for him "You might be a nuke case Hyung but you're my nuke case"

Hyung blushed and said "Don't call me that"  hiding his small smile

 Richard answered in a softer tone "Mate you called me cumface when I was trying to help you" 

 at this point, Hyung realized the argument was silly and apologized  "Your right sorry Rich" 

once they were tended to they relaxed on the sofa browsing netflix to put a end to their arguing!

"We are watching RuPaul!,No! we are watching Parks and Rec,Nah! lads we are watching The Office!,"What about Black Mirror?",No! you know I'm not into sci-fi 

they then channel surfed Richard's television forgetting about the fight focusing on more fun things like whining about what Netflix show to watch.


	2. short story 2: History Channel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard rambles about english history channels while drunk only for Hyung to get war flashbacks

 Richard and Kelsie were in the darkly lit  living room watching television

Richard was intoxicated sat up while Kelsie was lying down 

 Richard said "Why do Arthur's history channels feel like they need to spread gossip about people who've been dead for decades it's old news, Oh he made a rocket,she slept with someone,give us some new tea please make it pipping hot!"

Hyung then walked in expressionless and said "I did too you know"

 Kelsie then asked "Didn't Edgar Allen Poe marry his first cousin?

 

Richard still drunkenly continued his ramble "As soon as someone dies news stations tend to dig up all that gossip like they do to celebrities"

Hyung sighed "Richard you've had too much to drink"

Kelsie said "People dig up gossip about politics all the time"

Hyung admonished "You two have been watching too much Jeremy Kyle"

Richard was puzzled and said "but Hyung this is the history channel"

Hyung said solemnly "my life was a history channel"

(FLASHBACK)

The time was 1943 in World War II   
My People were tortured and occupied by Japan  
many soldiers were conscripted into the Kwangtung Army during one of our many fights with the soviet union we got captured, sent to a labour camp and eventually ended up fighting with the Red Army.

while I and many others were fighting on the eastern front in the Third Battle of Kharkov the Soldiers and I were captured once again but this time by some countries who I had never met previously, Germany and Austria I had met his brother East Germany previously in the ancient past since his dad and mine would sometimes meet to discuss politics and trade.  
  
Through this series of events I, the soldiers and Yang Kyoungjong were given the opportunity to help fight for Germany instead. I had to get used to this new place, new job and the new rules I would have to follow.  
  
this lead to me meeting someone who I would have no idea would change my life from that day on  
Richard Edelstein  
he was a messenger during that time and I didn't meet him again until the late 1970s when he visited my place  
I haven't looked back since if those soldiers didn't join then they would still be with the imperial Japanese army and the future wouldn't be the same and Japan.....Hyung paused "would become a communist country!!!"

 Hyung awoke from his flashback when Richard jolted him awake

"Hey nuke case are you alright?"

Hyung shook his head as he tried to catch his breath

"No,I was getting war flashbacks again"

Richard held Hyung close to him rubbing calming circles on his back to reassure him

"It's ok we aren't in 1943 anymore you aren't on a battlefield your in bed with me and I'll keep you safe"

"Thanks, Rich I needed that 

"your welcome Liebe" Richard responded before he yawned turning the bedroom light back off


	3. short story 3: Romance fluff scenarios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just fluff slice of life nonesense

Announcer voice:But first a word on Electrcity Safety 

If Hyung was in one of those old British Adverts about electricity safety in substations etc.  
Hyung would be walking in the park when he' see some kids  
  
(if it's little kids)  
Hyung ran quickly over to where they were

"Hey kid I may not like losing things but sometimes it's better off being that way if you were to get that kite this monster known as electricity would sneak up behind you and gobble your heart,lungs and brain up  
and maybe your eyes too it would also cause a dangerous explosion like the ones your grandpa might have seen in the war so use that brain of yours and get some ice cream instead", Hyung explained he then took the kid to a ice cream shop  
  
(if it's for gangs)  
Whoa Kid what the heck do you think you doing *Hyung grabbed the kid*  
do you want to die??? I don't think so I get that you want your gang to be blown up but that would technically blow you up too unlike a building your heart cannot be rebuilt  
now find a different way like spreading Hate posters about your "rival gang" Hyung admonished  
  
(if it's a female gang member)  
he would say the same thing but would add another thing onto it

  
now miss if you were to try and unleash that evil it would not only burn and stop your entire body and nervous system from functioning but it would suck up your skin like a vacuum living fire spark scars and smoke ash all over your body and now do you want that deadly addition to your face No because it's "totally gross and deadly" Hyung lectured  
if it's a accident then he would help get the item back for them since he knows the proper safety precautions  
(this might be inaccurate I'm sorry but I watch quite a few PIF's in my spare time and I thought this would be interesting to make since coming from that part of Korea Hyung would know quite a bit about science)

 

(if Richard was a doc who adopted a St Bernard)

Richard was leaving a goth night club when he saw the st Bernard nearby barking happily he walked over to it to see what the st Bernard wanted.

  
 "Bark!" the St Bernard yelped as it saw Richard walking close to him the dog wagged it's tail and barked again

"Aw it's a hund",Richard chirped as he smiled and petted the St Bernard

"You are such a niedlich dog" Richard chuckled (note:niedlich means cute in Austrian)

"I wonder where your owner is?" he pondered 

  
"wait you don't have a collar und your a st bernard that must mean... " 

"Oh! is something wrong sweetie?" he asked 

  
Elsewhere in a nearby park  
a 17 year old scottish/irish lass was trying to walk home when some annoying preteen boys walked up to her and started pestering her,they then crowded up around her and started to make fun of her some punching others mocking  
unfortunately she couldn't defend herself  
unlike her brothers she wasn't skilled in self defense she felt weak,cowardly and stupid.

The St Bernard yelped again trying to keep Richard's attention   
"He must hear it too if he looks so concerned.... But he just keeps looking at me....ok so maybe he can't hear it. Humans are terrible at sensing these kind of things..... Maybe I can get him to follow me and check it out..hmmm...." the St Bernard stopped to think before barking repeatedly walking a few steps toward the scene that was going on before looking at Richard again.

  
"Oh  danger is nearby then take me to where this danger is Doggie" Richard responded sounding concerned as followed the st Bernard to where the danger was

"Ok. So this human is a fast thinker. That makes this ten times easier! Now let's see how well he can keep up!" the St Bernard cogitated

As it took off running towards the sound with Richard following close behind eventually they reached the park where a bunch of preteen boys were gathered around something the St Bernard stopped and turned around to Richard before wagging it's tail

"Bark" it whined

seeing the chaos that was going on Richard took a deep breath "right" before raising his voice menacingly "HEY!!!"  
  
"What do you dummkopfs think your doing????" Richard yelled as he punched them and twisted some of their shoulders

the St Bernard overheard as it laid on the grass tilting it's head "Humans are strange" it mumbled   
  
"ok that part of the danger has been dealt with..wait there's a Frau here" exclaimed Richard as he slapped his hands before looking to see the injured teenage girl nearby

  
"Are these two dangers connected in some way?" he suspected feeling a little confused

the St Bernard walked over to teenage girl sniffed her and wagged it's tail to calm her down only to get distracted by another group of people who were obvilous to what had happened because they were petting a kitten

Richard was still confused but was trying to figure it out as he walked over

  
"Oh this was the danger you were talking about" he realized as he kneeled down and tried to get a pulse while the girl remained quiet her heart was thankfully sound with the adrenaline pumping fast however her arms felt limp

  
he took a small torch out of his jacket and held the torch over her eyes

"A-Ah w-what happpened" she said her eyes flickering from the torch light 

  
That's what I'd like to know Richard said with his hands folded

  
"W-Who are you?" she asked

  
"Ich am Richard Edelstein I'm a doctor now how did you get all these wounds?" Richard responded sounding stern even though he had just lied about being a doctor he might be a former volunteer doctor who did have first aid training but offically he was not an actual doctor 

The girl explained

"Well I was just walking home when some twats started causing a ruckus  and I ended up in the middle of it as they attacked me,this brings me back to when this used to happen to me a lot in secondary school,stupid me still doesn't know how to defend myself" the girl said self deprecating 

"D-Damn I'm sorry you had to deal with that frau times don't really change do they? Richard answered before chuckling

"Now you'll have to stand still while I examine your injuries" he explained before he proceeded to excessively check Kelsie's wounds,putting temporary gauze dressings on some of them.

  
"Now can you stand up?"

The girl attempted but the pain distracted her "Damm my stupid leg I can't" she rolled her eyes

"How did you find me anyways I'm not usually noticed" she queried

  
"Oh well I was just walking back from that goth club down the street there when I saw this st Bernard's dog without a owner and then the dog lead me to you and those dummkopfs that were hurting you" Richard then whistled to get the St Bernard to arrive  
  
Kelsie felt slightly nervous due to her phobia of dogs but was calmer with this dog than she had been in the past with other dogs "A goth club cool what goth bands do you like? and I'm Kelsie nice to meet you st Bernard's are interesting dogs" Kelsie asked interested smiling as she petted the St Bernard dog which responded by wagging it's tail and licking Kelsie's hand.

"Great your a baby bat well it's always nice to see other Goths in places that aren't night clubs and my favorite Goth bands are The Cure,The Damned,Bauhaus,She Past Away and Siouxsie Sioux" Richard answered cheerfully smiling back

Richard then carried Kelsie back home while trying to avoid an argument with her intimating older brothers 

when Richard got home he laid down on the couch watching the cute St Bernard he had brought back with him while browsing random stuff on google eventually looking at dog names what name would you like? he said smiling at the st bernard dog

The St Bernard perked up at the sound of Richard's voice,wagged it's tail and spoke not with barks like last time   
"I don't think that anybody's ever called me anything other than  st. bernard,dog or doggie.."  
what about Stanley?,Stanley Bernard the 2nd Richard decided smiling at his new pet as he went to kitchen to get some food out...  
  
(next is Hyung on Ice)  
Richard cannot Ice-skate to save his life  
It's a regular day in Europe wherever they are in said continent and some people are at a Ice rink after a late ice skating show had finished  
including a certain couple of a anime dude and russian champion skater 

  
Kelsie  watched bored while Richard wasn't using his common sense as he slipped onto the ice he wasn't phased though as he went off into his own little world gleefully saying  
"Ooooooh this looks fun" as he attempted skate only for him to go out of control 

Hyung mumbled coldly "You moron you couldn't master the art of roller skates let alone ice skates your like a car crash skidding on that ice hold on..."

Kelsie looked puzzled "But Hyung do you even know how to..?"

Hyung winked and did a finger gun sounding relaxed and mellow "Don't worry I know I've skated before"  
he then gracefully leaped onto the ice like a R&B dancer on a concert stage before grabbing Richard of the ice and spinning him around in his arms performing some tricks   
when he leaned  in for a kiss 

Richard interjected "Hyung I'd like for you to finish but I don't want to get brain damage by slamming my head against the ice"   
despite the sarcasm Hyung kissed Richard anyway

while on Hyung and Richard's ice rendition of the Nutcracker Suite  
Kelsie  sat there eating chips with a emotionless face saying in a weirdly happy voice "I SHIP IT"

Richard and Hyung eventually got off the ice but because they kissed they were now making bad romance puns at each other

"Well did I get my FedEx receipt? Richard said smirking

"I already paid for it with my love" Hyung flattered sounding like someone out of a melodramatic korean drama

Despite Hyung insisting that he was joking when Kelsie and Richard eavsdropped on him later on they saw Hyung kissing his hand proudly which still had the kiss mark from earlier from his smooch on the ice  
Richard whispered "At least Ich know you aren't out of stock".  
  
(next is  pillow fluff *literally*)  
Kelsie is in her Brother's house sitting unwell in the living room  
  
Richard appeared squatting on the arm of the nearby couch "Why the long face?" he asked curiously  
  
Kelsie moaned "I feel sick,bored and I couldn't relax like I wanted to after a long day"  
  
Richard smiled and said "Oh well I'm here I can fix that how sick are you feeling?" he asked as put his hand on her head*

"You do look quite pale,I'll get some medicine for you"  Richard then walked to the kitchen waited a while and returns with the medicine which was dissolved in some diet coke*  
  
after handing the cup of medicine Richard paused looking disgusted "wait a second I smell something,something gross"  
  
Kelsie groaned "That's the smell my brothers leave behind when they're drunk there's also cigarette buts"  
  
Richard lightly coughed "C-Cigerette Smoke I must get rid of that smell it's uninviting to demons like mich who want to smell air,food or pleasant smells ew" still grossed out as he unzipped Kelsie's hoodie and sprayed a body spray over her"  
  
"Thanks I guess" Kelsie shrugged before sipping the medicine  
  
Richard continued whining "why are you sitting on a pillow that isn't a comfy option!" 

Kelsie looked up and down before staring at him blankly saying "the smell reeks into the furniture too"  
  
Richard responded with "what you need is a squishy,comfy,soft Blanket" before getting a blanket and putting it over the couch Kelsie was sitting on*  
  
"so your day?"  
  
sighing Kelsie replied with "it was ok until I came home,dinner was overcooked and I can't watch my recorded supernatural episode from last night" Kelsie stopped talking as she noticed Richard had went off somewhere as there was a big demonic hole in the wall that richard was looking inside 

"What are you doing?"

"Letting us watch our favourite show together" he answered sounding jovial carrying his own television inside and setting up the cables  
  
Kelsie complained "what if we make too much noise"  
  
Richard:*says a spell*  
  
BLOCK THE OUTSIDE HUMANS FROM HEARING OUR LAUGHTER AND EMOTIONS  
  
SO MICH AND KELSIE CAN ENJOY TV TOGETHER WITHOUT HAVING TO DEAL  
  
WITH ANNOYANCE,AND NEGATIVE AURA's  
  
*magical locks then appeared letting me and Richard watch Supernatural in peace*  
  
"Where's Hyung"?  
  
Hyung appeared in a bathtub "WOULD YOU MIND??" * badly singing some BTS songs*  
  
Richard cringed and said "sorry kimchi nuke case but you aren't the X factor" rolling his eyes  
  
Kelsie smiled sarcastically looking at the reader saying "I love the fact this is so cute and yet it means nothing to the world or my life"  
  
Richard responded back "Oh just you wait I'll give you something to show emotion for HYUNG LIGHTS!!" he shouted while Hyung did lights and turned on a cd  
  
Richard walked down the living room like he was a model in his gothic clothes

Kelsie mumbled "Richard  cuddle me like a stuffed teddy bear"  
  
Richard smirked and said "I HEARD THAT" cuddling Kelsie hard answering "this is a great way to drain time space universe vortex's" before Hyung hit him with a pillow forcefully  
  
"just like I'm going to drain you in pillow feathers you cock" he smirked saying the cock part in a bad english accent

Staying relaxed Richard responded "the term I believe you looking for is Rooster BRING IT ON!!" he yelled like a metal singer before pillow fighting Hyung"  
  
*the metal music included on the CD perfectly matched the scene of the living room being covered in feathers,Richard continuously falling on his butt and Hyung laughing in victory*


	4. short story 4: Plant Aesthetics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian the neighbor meets Kelsie and does her hair for her

It was a quiet day at the apartment that Kelsie,Hyung and Richard lived mostly because Richard was at work,and Hyung was too, leaving Kelsie alone.

Kelsie had met the new neighbours that moved in next door The Professor,instagram advertiser cyborg Adrian Matzelberger and Rudi a emo 

they were able to keep Kelsie company (even if she wasn't aware of that or how long her hair had grown in the past month).

 However Adrian was the more naive and curious  so when he had the task of chilling with Kelsie he did it like a Team Fortress 2 spy.and unlike most other sick days nothing was that serious it was just a mild stomachache so sitting sideways on the couch with her hair in her face wasn't really the right way to relax for Kelsie at some point she was bored online and her strands would get in the way of her seeing the screen.

  
“Ugh my hair it’s all over the place” *scratches face”  
  
“Your Hair Kelsie?” questioned Adrian as he stepped into the living room out of nowhere  
  
“Yes wait who are you?” said Kelsie looking confused to the austrian sounding "man" who had a lighter calmer tone than Richard's accent but he had a sideways light purple "emo" haircut that looked like he forgot where his straightener was if his daisy headband and pastel goth clothes made him seem any more "straight"  
  
“Adrian a mate of the Professor” he answered with a slightly sassy tone like that of a high school disney mean girl stereotype  
  
“Oh the instagram model and walking mean girl stereotype"   
  
“yep”   
  
“Have you had a haircut the past few days?”  
  
“Nope”  
  
“Don't you think it's time you had one?”  
  
“I don’t know how though”  
  
“I’ll give you a haircut then because I am the Stylist of Salzburg”  
  
“If you say so"

Adrian then took out a  brush, comb,hair clippers,scissors and razor and got started while trying to have a conversation about memes  
  
“wow you have lots of loose hairs,” Adrian said snipping off some of the straw like hairs dangling on Kelsie's head

Adrian then trimmed the hair with the hair clipper

he poured a warm shower over Kelsey's head before applying shaving lubricant to prepare for shaving

after using the razor and applying the aftershave Adrian realised there was a lot of hair on the floor which he then hoovered up

Kelsie just stared 

“I can now easily dry that Adrian grinned as he got out a blow dryer and dried Kelsie's hair while combing it back so it wasn't static anymore  
  
"Now you look gorgeous" Adrian exclaimed winking in the mirror  
  
"I don’t think so" Kelsie coldly responded   
  
"Well I don’t care Kelsie you like a cutie to me" Adrian answered  
  
"You sound like Richard" Kelsie rolled her eyes  
  
"I’m not Richard and you are just as cute as the professor when he isn't drunk"  
  
Adrian then realised he was acting way too over the top   
  
"Ok ok I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable Kelsie, hopefully I won’t do something lame like that again"  
  
Adrian then completed the haircut by lightly brushing it out of the way  
  
"There now it won’t be in your face anymore"  
  
"Well I guess I look edgy" said Kelsie as she tilted her head looking at her slightly shorter hair  
  
"Edgier than a knife?"  
  
"Edgier than a Swiss Knife" Adrian remarked sounding cringe worthy when he flicked on some shades   
  
Then once Richard came home he burst out laughing so loud he could be heard from upstairs  
  
the next day though Kelsie took Adrian's advice too hard while accidently inhaling a Incense trip that she had become a tumblr aesthetic as flowers were stuck on her eye and some vines were wrapped round her neck  
  
Richard:Kelsie Flowers and compliments are nice but you spent too much time in the garden today  
  
Kelsie: Richard it's incense  
  
Richard:I know what weed is Kelsie besides you don't want to end up looking like Posion Ivy do you  
  
Kelsie:Tch  
  
Richard:cuts off the flowers  
  
Kelsie:that's my eye  
  
Richard: this is why you don't go outside when your stuck in a daydream state  
  
your a human not a plant  
  
puts the flowers in a vase and takes some dark roses and turns them into a flower crown  
  
Richard:but you do look as beautiful as one  
  
Adrian:Oh what a beautiful flower  
  
Richard:that's not a flower that's my girlfriend

Kelsie then rolled her eyes "Richard don't Hyung would knock your eyes out for telling that joke"  
  
Adrian:*snaps a picture on his phone* looks like a boy to me Richard  AESTHETIC ^u^  
  
Kelsie:*glares*: ADRIAN YOU'VE MET ME BEFORE   
  
Richard:well it is true Flowers have genders

 


	5. short story 5: Absolutely Atrocious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fashion Police

 Kelsie walked along a shopping centre only to spot several people wearing "Supreme and GUCCI" 

Kelsie put on an advertiser voice right out of the 50s exclaiming "Someone call the fashion Police"

 

Richard and Hyung then appeared out of nowhere Richard looked like Eddie Monsoon but with the Morticia Adams aesthetic and Hyung looked like a business man holding a cigerette packet and a glass of wine

walking in proudly making an entrance and showing his English accent Richard flamboyantly critiqued "Darling there's only so many ways you can pull that look off wearing"

only to be cut off by Kelsie coldly answering with "Did you have to"?  
  
Hyung then made his fashion statement "Please if someone is going to talk about fashion" sipping his wine glass before also flamboyantly boasting  
  
"It's gonna be me please you basics  come to Seoul and we'll show you how style is really done" 

Kelsie then broke the wall "Hyung this isn't South Park and you'd know your making a bad attempt at satire"

Hyung scoffed "Fine then why don't you ask my sisters" before letting his younger sisters Eun-Ji and Hee walk in wearing stylish clothes although Hee's outfit looked more like something from the more vintage fashion era

Eun-Ji was too busy looking at her phone so instead of insulting she complimented the gucci look "That's so kiyomi"

Hee however was more brutally honest about her fashion opinion as she exclaimed "While I'm the more old fashioned member of the korean family at least  I'm not completely banned from looking like a Poster girl Darling" before winking 

so people walking by cringed at what to be honest was quite a cringe worthy scene "Ew that's like something out of the 60s"

Hyung got annoyed that they were publically mocked like that but he kept quiet

Richard had other plans as he whispered an incantation and?

He and Kelsie,Hyung ended up in a 1960s park

*stock music started playing as Kelsie moved like a cartoon walk cycle in suspended shorts as she sarcastically said "Oh golly gee jolly looks like I'm going to die"

Hyung badly sung a cover of wouldn't it be nice by The Beach Boys off tune "WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE WERE IMMORTAL AND WE LIVE ALL YEAR LONG?"

Richard walked over before slipping yelling a goofy esque scream "Who wants to play monop crashes YA AHOY AHOY HOY* monopoly"?

getting back up Richard started dancing to "I want candy" by The Strangeloves when Hyung casually said "Aren't we all on a highway to hell"

 before a laugh track was heard was they all laughed at 

 

 


	6. short story 6: Richard's Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard and Hyung take a Vacation so that leaves Professor,Adrian and Rudi to chill with Kelsie

It's the flat of Richard's neighbor from another universe known simply as Professor Richard X 1010101 or the Professor for short who allowed Kelsie to stay with him,Adrian and Rudi while Hyung and Richard went on a small vacation

 

Adrian sat on the sofa looking sassy with one of his wigs on showing a daisy headband while he played a video game

"I may have a daisy on my head but that won't stop mich from bringing you to the ground" he shouted trying and failing at looking intimidating through his gaming headset

Kelsie was shy so she just sat and ate crisps while watching Adrian yell at the television screen only for him to switch his settings from Overwatch to youtube so he could watch a dirty anime that wasn't on Crunchyroll  


(Meanwhile Richard and Hyung were on holiday asleep in their hotel bed when suddenly...Richard sneezed so loudly that it made Hyung fall out of bed)  
  
Hyung rolled his eyes and blankly said "Richard you have a cold" looking up at the confused Richard resting on the bed as he sniffled  
"I thought you were the cold one"  
  
back at the neighbour household the Professor had joined in watching the anime Adrian was watching only for the Professor to start doting on her as he squished Kelsie's checks   
" awwww this loli is so cool"  The Professor was clearly spending more time looking at anime stereotypes than he was spending time in reality   
  
"Excuse Me"? Kelsie answered

"Now for my tv time ADRIAN HAND IT OVER" The Professor demanded finishing his sentance with a tone like that of a death metal band"

it go as well as Kelsie has hoped because she was now witnessing another pointless fight"  
  
"At least nobody is going to lose a eyesocket like at home" she shrugged as Adrian and the Professor made empty threats at each other 

"Adrian I'm gonna make sure your arm doesn't have a power up" The Professor mocked sounding childish as he punched Adrian in the shoulder"

"and I'll give your nose a illegal poison mushroom" Adrian responded back smirking 

When footsteps could be heard as Rudi walked in this was the first time Kelsie had seen not just Rudi but one of The Professor's "creations"

Rudi spoke in his very low voice coldly "so many bad puns the Professor is probably drunk again"

Kelsie yelled "This is riduclous they are arguing over a television remote"  
  
Rudi overheard "I know I'm Rudi by the way"

Kelsie got quietly casual and shaked Rudi's hand "I'm Kelsie so how do you deal with this every day"?

Rudi responded similarly "one I'm an android so I already process a lot better than humans do and second it's not as bad as my past life"

"Your past life?" Kelsie asked 

"I might be in a android body but I used to have the mind of one of the worst humans in existence at the time it was for science because the Professor used to volunteer at a school for the offspring of historical figures but my own A.I was so different from the fascist I had fused with apprantely there was some sort of mix up as his now digital mind was supposed to be in another android called Harry not me it's sorted now though I wonder if I'll ever come across him but  I'd prefer for that not to happen" Rudi rambled 

Kelsie was gobsmacked that she was talking to an actual android yet he looked so human but then again they did all come from another universe,  after some awkward silence when Rudi scolded The Professor and Adrian before putting him inside a playpen made out of sofa parts they snuggled on the sofa talking about their life.

Only to realise they liked some of the same things even if Rudi was more emo and apolitical about his tastes and attitude on things but Kelsie didn't mind as she was starting to get tired the disney channel ident started transitioning into disney songs which she ended up seeing Rudi fanboy and sing along to.


	7. short story 7:  Utter Nonesense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangovers and Saturday Morning Cartoon References

Richard and Hyung were back from their vacation and they invited Odelia (Richard's Older Sister)and Hyung's sisters to the welcome party but the others had hangovers 

Richard scoffed "Please there's children here"

"Excuse You"? Adrian answered back sounding  offended while Hyung was sitting on a bar stool completely sloshed holding his head in pain "Damn that's a painful hangover"   
The Professor was too drunk to notice or care so he just said "Yay Beer" in his homer simpson sounding voice

Rudi whined "Grow up  you idiots"

Kelsie wasn't drunk but Kelsie also wasn't feeling too well  
Admin:O_O  


Adrian looked concerned and dashed to the kitchen "I'll get her some toast and water"  
  
Odelia helped too "You drunk punks I'll prepare some medicine for you lot"

Thanks Odelia Richard and Hyung answered in a tone similar to how children say good morning to their teacher   
  
Kelsie asked "How did you know I was sick?" trying to ignore her dry throat only to excessively cough   
  
Rudi answered snarkfully "it was kind of obvious with you complaing of stomach pain and feeling very tired"  
  
Kelsie rolled her eyes while Hee asked "Do you need blankets"? Hyung sighed "YES" unaware that Eun-Ji had taken a photo of him earlier at the party when he was getting hammered  "Eun-Ji don't you dare post that on twitter" Hyung glared only for Eun-Ji's phone click to be overheard 

(earlier that day) Hyung was operating as the DJ of the party while Richard was suggestively dancing to 2009-2011 era Ke$ha

(cutaway gag) (Richard is hosting a parody of who wants to be a millionare with Hyung as the contestant)

Richard read out the question "Hyung which of these bands is not part of the Post-punk music genre"  
  
is it?  
  
A: Talking Heads  
  
B:Cabaret Volitare  
  
C:Public Image Limited   
  
D:The Cure  
  
Hyung answered simply with "D"

Richard took the answer to the question as a compliment and  yelled cheerfully "Oh your too kind" before glomping Hyung to the ground  
  
Adrian was at a tv editing studio and cut to footage of baby sheep sitting in farm grass while Kelsie was in a director type position "RICHARD YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION AND PLEASE KEEP QUIET THE AUDIENCE SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU SMOOCH THE CONTESTANT CUT THE COMMERICAL PLEASE"  
  
Adrian scrambled for the right button and blankly answered "We will now cut to commerical break"

a parody of a Barbie commerical from 1984 was shown but with Richard in place of Barbie 

You can be anything right Richie  
  
Day to Night Richie  
he works nine to five and then changes in a dress for a evening with Hyung  
  
(the announcer then showed a advert for Captain N the Game Master)

Adrian at the studio said to himself "It never occured to me but the way that title was said makes it sound Gay like literally Captain N the Game (Gay-me) Master   
  
why am I so bent anyways isn't My Little Pony to be airing soon" 

"On the other channel plonker" Kelsie snarled 

Adrian overheard "Ah it's ok I have the channel now" he smiled only to be answered with a unseen gesture 

well that's very good for a kids channel isn't it Adrian sarcastically moaned before switching to the other channel's control panel  
  
(music could be heard in the distance)  
  
(as well as some laughter)  
  
my little pony my little pony isn't the world a sad place  
everywhere you go a grumpy face  
barely any money and a broken economy   
  
my little pony my little pony what does the future hold   
Richard,Adrian and Wolf but they are ponies   
  
  
All upon the Anarchist ponies when the government is a mess   
lost your money,feeling like your getting bad luck and feeling like you wanna give up  
  
Now  it isn't the end of the world just because your government is being pushy doesn't mean you have to do what they say  
  
rebelling is a good option,Demoracy is the way to go  shut down the system and turn up your voice,speak your mind wave the black flag and wave it high

they can't ignore after sucessful political chinwags the propaganda will be close to no more because people will now know

Kelsie is now getting out of her director/producer costume and into a another 80s tv universe  
  
Kelsey Crayon can draw anything she likes from memes and anime characters  
to  comedy characters and the like  
but Kelsey's magic drawings are not like any other  
  
they walk and talk and have personality  
  
creating lots of trouble  
  
scribble oh oops I messed up Rimmer's head rub it out and start again   
  
creating lots of trouble just you wait and see

(it is now the 90s and the Professor is narrating the logo ident

"N-Ni-Nick Nick Nick Nick a –load –ian" Professor performs

Richard,Hyung,Professor and Rudi are at a Concert hall where Richard is explaining somethign

"Hyung Nuclear weapons aren't musical insturments and neither is Sauerkraut,Mayonase,Mustard,Chili Sauce,Ketchup,Vinegar,Salt or Sugar" he listed coldly  
  
Hyung hit Richard 

"well you've definitely sunk my battleship" Richard glared before realising  
  
"People please I'm a doctor I know how to fix this" The Professor declared before prepared to out Richard back into place

"Clone me I don't think that's the best idea" he warned looking afraid   
  
when the Professor attempted Richard ended up moaning like he was  pretending to have a Orgasm because his head was sore when he fell

"Ahhhhh! my head mien beautiful mountain head Ow!" he whimpered  
  
Rudi then interupted by Hitting both of them with a pillow   
  
"Mr.Matzelberger I don't have time for your randomness I'm trying to help Richard here" The Professor boasted  
Rudi then slapped him   
  
"What did you do that for?" The Professor asked 

Richard got the sousaphone off his head but because your reckless way of helping him he now has a painful forehead it's ok Richard your beautiful head will stop hurting soon Rudi explained before rubbing Richard's head with some ointment and speaking in a softer tone "It's ok Richard your beautiful head will stop hurting soon 

The Professor is puzzled "How was my own experiment able to be more logical than mich a actual scientist"?

they were now in another tv show 

  
"And Now coming up next it's one in a half men" he announced  
  
Adrian was browsing tumblr and listening to lady Gaga while Rudi was dancing to Mickey Mouse saying Hot Dog from one of the old disney cartoons  
  
  
Hot dog,Hot Dog Hot Dog Hot Dog Rudi hummed dancing to the beat

the doorbell rang   
  
"Ich wonder who's at the door" Rudi wondered as the door was knocked three times by Kelsie saying "Rudi,Rudi,Rudi" repetitively   
  
Rudi then opened the door and said "It's our gut freund Kelsie Cooper   
  
Kelsie looked at the reader saying Bananza  



	8. short story 8: Grim Reaper Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grim Reapers

 It's another alternate Universe Richard and Hyung were Grim Reapers collecting souls when they came across the body of a teenage girl she looked dead inside both literally and metaphorically 

Richard carried the lifeless body while he coldly said "Your going to Hell Kid" blank faced he looked to Hyung who answered with "All that stress was probably too much"  
  
Richard responded "Yeah but she doesn't want to fade out of existence nobody does" sounding upset Hyung solemnly answered "We are Grim Reapers it's our duty to collect souls" Richard interrupted "She has a life to live and enjoy even if she didn't enjoy it previously" before flying off with Hyung following close behind

Hyung sternly replied "But Richard you know the soul and the body are different"  
  
Richard murmured still feeling remorse woefully "Yes but this Frau had no soul sure she has some feelings and emotions but spiritually wise she has no soul   
so Hell is just the place to go for soulless people there's many innocents in hell much like how there's many heathens in heaven"

Hyung raised his eyebrow "So Purgatory? alright I'm calling Satan about it" he groaned taking out his phone and having a angry phone call with Satan that ended with   
  
"What Satan? no I wasn't slacking off again well your sister is a whore" Hyung insulted sounding annoyed before putting his phone away

Richard's frown became a smirk as he sarcastically answered "Tough love with the Leader again"  
  
Hyung looking irritated mumbled "shut your face"  
  
Richard shrugged off Hyung's cringe moment "anyways I'm going to do what my alternate universe twin does"  Cloning? Hyung asked   
  
"Nein just a bit of re constructive surgery  to her body and some therapy  even without a soul we can still give her a temporary one like we do for all the other human souls who arrive here" he corrected cheerfully   
  
"How will she know if her body is alive or not this isn't Frankenstein?" Hyung doubted rolling his eyes

 "I will just have to make her mien puppet" Richard said to himself gleefully  "were you analyzing one of the human's past records again?" Hyung complained   
  
Richard flicked glasses on over dramatically "Nein Ich wouldn't do such a thing this isn't a reality show" he said laughing to himself  
  
"Much like how Scream Queens isn't a Horror Game Show" Hyung mocked looking at Richard like he was talking nonsense  
  
when Richard has a realization "I only just realized we've been rambling on for hours are we at the hospital yet?" he asked bored 

"we just now entered the entrance doors" Hyung answered unamused 

They walked in with their body bag when the Doctor of the Hell Hospital queried them curiously "So what do have here Hyung and Richard?"  
  
Richard responded analytically with a formal tone "A human girl called Kelsie Ui Neil,Cause of death: Unknown,Age: around mid 20s , Health info: all we know is she needs a soul transfusion)  
  
"I'll get right on that" the Doctor then took the body bag into an examination lab   
  
*a few minutes later*  
The Doctor walked out of the operation theatre smiling cheerfully "und it was a successful operation her soul is healthy now but she will have to stay here for a while just so we can check what other unknown problems she has."

Richard thought this was like the Hunger Games so he randomly stuck his hand halfway up and screamed "Ich Volunteer Ich Volunteer as a Candy Stripper"   
  
Hyung aggressively reacted to Richard's reference with "What the hell Richard did you have to be so loud...he means Candy Striper"  
  
The Doctor chuckled "I knew what he meant Hyung and yes Richard you may you did graduate from your course in Psychology and your study of futuristic neuroscience"  
  
Hyung was puzzled "how do you know that?"  
  
The Doctor put his hand round Richard's shoulder explaining "we're cousins" sounding jovial Hyung coldly remarked "No wonder you too are so similar"  
  
(later on that day)

Kelsie awoke in her hell hospital bed it didn't look that different to a regular hospital ward except for the demons and supernatural creatures in the beds beside her as well as the feminine Austrian nurses and the grumpy Korean lad standing in front of her Kelsie yawned confused "What happened and where am I?" 

Optimistically Richard dressed in a retro candy striper uniform answered her question "Your in a hospital located in hell Kelsie" next to Richard was Nurse Adrian who had light purple hair tied back in a lighting bolt hair clip Nurse Adrian added to Richard's statement bluntly "you died and also had a soul transfusion"

a few feet below Adrian was Nurse Rudi ended their sentence with "But your staying so we can find out what those other unknown problems of yours are and how to fix them"

Kelsie was still trying to figure out what was going on and how to get a Internet connection in the so called "afterlife"um ok? do you have wifi and how did you know all that?" she interrogated Adrian smiled explaining "Yes and we are former Grim Reapers who now work as nurses with the exception of Richard he's a candy striper" gesturing with his thumb to where Richard was sarcastically smirking at him which he innocently grinned back 

he then waved happily at Kelsie "Hallo there und we know your information because well it's our job und it's on your life records" responding softly  
  
Kelsie laughed "Oh yeah I should've known that me and my  brain" before lightly punching herself in the head with her knuckle

Rudi looked at his clipboard and said "Let’s check her temperature first" which Adrian undertook as he took out the temperature putting it in Kelsie's mouth for 3 minutes before taking out again Richard then asked Kelsie "Have you eaten anything in the past month"? Kelsie answered "Yes but I didn't eat much today due to my sore throat"  
Adrian looking concerned added on "That’s understandable but you still need to eat" Kelsie was puzzled "Aren't I dead?"  
Richard interrupted sternly "Even Dead people eat Kelsey I’ll go get you some sandwiches" before getting the sandwiches Kelsie enjoyed the sandwiches 

"mmm these are good" she said swallowing the last sandwich slice   Adrian made a observation "You probably need some medicine to fix your throat I'll go make some"

when Adrian arrived back with the medicine Kelsie took the medicine dissolved in her drink and browsed the Internet Adrian looked curiously at the youtube video Kelsie was watching with a grin on his face " Is that You tube your watching,you yes I love him/her,their videos are great did you see their latest one?" he rambled 

Kelsie grinned back "Now I've seen it and it's great"  then the announcer on the hospital speaker declared "(Beep Nurse Rudi you are needed in the lab)"

Rudi looked down but still smiling "sorry Kelsie I have to go now" he shouted as he said his goodbye

 

outside the hell hospital Richard and Hyung were watching Richard commenting "Awww" Hyung aggressively yelled back "Richard Shut up this is a emotional moment"


	9. short story 9: Rudi the short robot dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roleplay,Sausages and Cigerettes

Kelsie,Hyung,Richard,Professor and Adrian were browsing discord anime discussions

Hyung cringed as he asked "Any More Excuses?"  
  
Kelsie said "the age of drinking here is quite low" Hyung responded with "Your not that innocent either"  
  
Richard then gave a long explanation "while they may like those characters it's because the personality and emotional connecting due to the character development and writing shown in the story"  
  
Rudi overheard "Excuse me?"  Richard ignored Rudi and continued his fandom ramble "As for Kelsie she has the right to say what's wrong with her laws but with the government being a narrow minded republican government of course it wouldn't listen to a meddling millennial like her but then again...  some people have kinks like daddy kinks because of them having a dad complex probably due to the fact they don't/didn't have much of a father figure in their life so they reflect that onto their boyfriend or fictional characters thots  who misuse the definition have no excuse however 

The Professor suddenly yelled over dramatically "I can't go to jail I'm a professor" which Rudi interupted sipping his tea "What are you arguing about?" Adrian was also sipping the tea  making a sarcastic remark to the Professor "Dad are you making Tumblr kink jokes again?"

this mildly offended The Professor "Stop calling me dad just because I'm a young adult professor who lives with you and Rudi doesn't mean I'm your father even if you look 24"  
  
suddenly after that everybody else stared the professor awkwardly while Wolf tried to  leave the conversation feeling uncomfortable while Adrian made the Professor shut up with a punch in the head while Kelsie,Richard and Hyung ignored them and carried on with their day.  
  
Kelsie was browsing social media only to notice the constant cigarette themed posts "what's with all the cigarette jokes it's not stoptober" she exclaimed  
  
Rudi rolled his eyes at Kelsie "Kelsie nobody outside of the uk knows what that means" only for a old memory from his previous soul holder to arrive back "For mich Stoptober was WWII unfortunately my idol Walt smoked and that's what lead to his demise in 1966"

Adrian noticed this "Then how are you still alive when your heart was unhealthy old man" he said mockingly   
  
Rudi was embarrassed by whose words he had just said so he responded "Be Quiet Adrian I am not a old man anymore" still sounding irritated

(a day later)

   
Kelsie was browsing the Internet again while visiting The Professor's house they were all busy leaving just Rudi inside this where Kelsie would see a side of Rudi she didn't see before

"Oh the 23rd of march is national puppy day well that sounds cute Ah! who are? wait" Kelsie was cut off by Rudi uncharacteristically tackling her while he was wearing what looked like a dog fur-suit   
  
"woof woof" he barked  
  
at this point Kelsie knew about the reccuring memory confusion with Rudi so she just sarcastically answered "but you don't have a dog anymore"  
Rudi gave the same response he did the first time Kelsie was utterly flabbergasted "Rudi seriously" Rudi then said something that wasn't a bad dog impression  
  
"but Ich am your puppy you didn't have dogs except for me woof" Rudi barked Kelsie just had to accept the randomness when she raised her eyebrow and joked "I never played with a corpse"  
  
Rudi then admonished Kelsie as if she was a child and not a 17 year old woman "how many times did I tell you not to lie about not seeing memes in the past you would prefer to forget"    
  
Kelsie just tried to keep the running gag going so she simply answered with "420 times"  
Rudi barked again before seeing "Oh you remember that?" Kelsie nodded "Puppies like to play and joke around and now your joking with me even though I have no idea what's going on with you and this pet play thing  Rudi answered with "I want to go for a walk" Kelsie awkwardly laughed trying to think of an excuse

"Very funny but I'm not taking you for a walk I don't feel well" Rudi just answered with "I'll walk you then" Kelsie didn't like the idea of going for a walk in  drizzly wet South England in the middle of the afternoon "your soul is 127 years old and you used to be dead" referring to the memories of Rudi's previous soul holder and not Rudi himself   
  
Rudi then sounded cringe worthy with his response "your part of the new generation and you feel and are acting like your dead as you kids say Dead inside"  
  
Kelsie finished this part of the chapter that was already dragging on with "that was a un-needed roast wolf" referring to how Rudi's name means wolf

NOW ONTO THE ENDING OF THIS POINTLESS CHAPTER WITH A CUT AWAY GAG about sausages (not those types of sausages reader)  
  
(Rudi,Adrian,Richard and Professor were then looking at a hot dog stand while in lederhosen)  
"you aren't the wurst" Richard declared smiling  Adrian struggling to hold his hot dog in the pooring rain said "und I'm not going to ruin the wurst" The Professor made a bad pun"you weiners" while Rudi used his android tech to go from the flat to the hot dog stand breaking the fourth wall  
"Ich like dogs Ich think I'm hot so stop being the wurst at wurst jokes"


	10. short story 10: April Fools

APRIL FOOLS ^^  
  
Richard  was at a game show podium speaking in a british accent for some reason while wearing a suit:  
I am a rich,snooty,scumbag who never keeps any of his wives

,is a narrow minded tory who brags too much,whose best insults are the same my knob is better than yours and buts in when he isn't needed  
I say that's the definition of foppish underneath a picture of is that donald trump? Richard inspected closer "Nope my mistake it's Piers Morgan"

on one of the game show stages Hyung is completely out of character acting more like his sister Eun-Ji gushing about korean boy bands   
"iyah!!!! iyah!!!!!!! iyah!!!!! Yoongi,G Dragon,Jimin and all are sooooooo hot" he squealed  
Oh my god Internet is cool right and I am a cis male who isn't saesang trash who gropes people a lot pleease 

Richard cringed at this game show contestant moving onto the next stage where Kelsie was standing giving a monologue about stereotypes  
  
:...My life.....Potatoes.........  
I'm so much of a potato I don't talk about my brothers that much and just chill with some weird guys aI'm irish and I haven't seen Game of Thrones.......the world makes us look like outcasts of the world no wonder some people who aren't history majors or part Irish know what ulster is  
my world means nothing part of it is a unique land filled with people of various backgrounds which is mostly remembered for death and the titanic while the other is filled with skangers this isn't good this is bad I have shamed my celtic ancestors I am a crybaby like my brother and am not as confident as Scotland,as calm as Wales,as fun as Ireland or as interesting as England  
now I must delve into my weird side of escapism not involving things that internet says is trash

Kelsie then out of nowhere started speaking weirdly like how a anime character would speak "Sir Richard edelstein with your brash exterior and fair hair grab that cake icing covered hand of yours and show me a good time with some pastries I deserve to be punished for many things I am a coward I am a true coward who is dead inside and you should "wake me up" to unleash the glutton inside  before inhaling and cringing "The things I do for entertainment I was referring to food not innuendo by the way"   
  
Richard was confused "that was supposed to be a joke? anyways onto you Professor"   
  
The Professor was singing a bad cover of the Phineas and Ferb theme song*:

There's 365 days in a year before Life tortures us in their dungeon  
but the annual problem for our generation is finding a way to survive it  
LIKE MAYBE  
  
dimension hopping  
fighting fascists  
or visiting time and space  
  
Discovering clones that are out of Place  
or showing fan service  
  
Surfing the interwebs  
joking like complete wankers  
locating souls (Professor! get back here)  
  
being total nerds  
Painting fanart portraits  
Or driving Kelsie insane (I'm going to be tumor today)  
  
As you can see there's  
a whole lot of stuff to do this year (Oh Kelsey)  
  
So joke and die with us  
because these Austrian Weirdos  
are gonna kill you all WITH MEMES

Rudi and Kelsie are at The Professor's flat talking about what was discussed the previous episode 

Rudi mumbled "I have kids even though I didn't want kids" (the kids he's referring to are The Professor and Adrian)  
before clapping innocently at Kelsie "Come on Kelsie that's a good dog"

Kelsie coldly responded "What are you doing?"

Rudi smiled gleefully "come on Kelsey it's a gut day outside let's go for a walk"  
  
Kelsie tried to think of an excuse "Can you not?" 

Rudi had backup "If you aren't going to go I'll make your brothers join us"   Kelsie just had to go along with it  "Fine" she grumbled   
  
"that's a good dog" he replied   
  
(later at a restaurant Rudi and Kelsie were eating some desert)  
  
Rudi asked "are you enjoying your meal?"  
  
Kelsie blankly replied with "Yes" before trying to eat   Rudi kept hounding her with questions "are you enjoying your life?" Kelsie stared at him "Not Really" she said casually before eating the desert again "Well that's a shame I had a similar situation when I was a boy" responded Rudi's previous soul holder 

"You are currently still a boy" Kelsie remarked sarcastically Rudi was offended  "that's not a way to speak to a lady Kelsey and eat up your cake"  
  
Kelsie had caught on to who Rudi's soul holder was,Someone notorious for fascism,detestable crimes and being involved in one of the world wars

Kelsie knew Rudi's android mind was like a digital encyclopedia so Kelsie decided to make her next insult related to a fact she knew about Rudi's tyrant of a soul holder

(Fact: In World War II One of the ways the allies tried to stop this dictator was by making him look more vulnerable one of the ways they attempted was by trying to "feminize" him by putting female horomones in his food this however wasn't successful because this dictator was paranoid at the time over people trying to poison him so he had female taste testers Oh those poor taste testers) 

Kelsie raised her eyebrow asking Rudi "did the Allies spike your food again?"

Rudi was even more offended that even the voice of his soul holder was projected in his response "NEIN you know they aren't in power anymore neither am I" his voice pitch sounding like it was from a youtube meme about the film Downfall

suddenly the TV located on the restaurant wall turned on to the local news   
  
" It has been announced Teresa May is displeased with the current results after leaving the EU blah blah Brexit blah blah  money cuts" the news anchor said 

the blah blahs coming from Kelsie covering her ears resting her head on the table so she didn't have to hear the same Tory rhetoric for 70th time this month 

while Rudi's soul holder reacted to the news the same way he would've in the 1940s

"Those complete dummkopfs that isn't how Government works and how are they still running if their minister is not doing much?"

 Later that night it was revealed the memory confusion was because Rudi hadn't been charged in days and that's why his programming was out of control 

the dog suit however he couldn't explain but Adrian gave half an answer "Look he loves dog roleplay the same way that Richard guy loves Hyung a little too much" 

well he is a young android after all even if his body is like that of a early 2000s emo teenager 


	11. short story 11: This is like a sitcom

Richard,The Professor and Adrian were sitting in the kitchen listening to Kelsie ramble about how embarrassing the previous few days had been with the Rudi pretending to be a dog while uncharged business.

They overheard about the incident at the restaurant while Adrian noticed on one of his social media feeds a story about someone who had a fist fight with their dog because they stole their cookie 

Rudi still in his uncharged state from two chapters ago responded  "Ich would never do that to Blondi but I will do it to the Professor"

The Professor tried scuttling away from Rudi whining childishly "I'M NOT A DOG"

Adrian knew the rudi dog thing was weird but he knew the Professor for years longer than he knew Rudi so he embarrassed The Professor pointing out one of his secret objects "You wear a collar that says dad on the front"

The Professor was drunk so he randomly responded with "because I want to be hip with the youngsters" Kelsie just blankly said "I'm a cat person"  
Hyung was looking in the fridge noticing the lack of kimchi on display "dammit we are out of kimchi" he complained Kelsie rolled her eyes "Not that type of cat"

Richard admonished "Kelsie don't be internally racist"  Kelsie shrugged "What's so racist about a cat being without it's fish" Adrian moaned "because it's a negative stereotype to compare the two Kelsie remember Lady and the Tramp and the Aristocats while those are alright films some of the cat characters are shown to be based on the racist stereotypes at the time yes cats like fish and Hyung likes fish but next time think about who your comparing "

The Professor slouched on the sofa and held his beer bottle in the air saying "the more you know"

(cutaway gag time)  
  
Rudi was in Professor's kitchen eating innocently "mm that's a good piece of toast"

he stole the nutella covered toast from the Professor's kitchen counter  where he was then chased by The Professor in a tom and jerry type fashion while he said "Rudi you give that back"   
  
(now we will take you on a trip to: the 2007 meme archive)

in a empty room Richard and Hyung are bickering while wearing hats Richard is wearing a signature gothic mad hatter hat and Hyung is just wearing a snapback there's nothing special about why they are wearing hats other than the fact there's a noticeable mysterious dead person in the middle of the room who looks like sadako from the ring  
  
Hyung speechless said "there's a dead human in our house" Richard titled his head noticing the dead human wasn't actually dead they just had dark clothes on and a dry throat  
  
"Oh wait looks it's just Kelsey" he grinned while Kelsie coughed answering "I can't breathe"  
  
*another cutaway gag*  
  
Richard,Rudi and Hyung were sitting on a bench  
  
Rudi declared "Your not Sheldon"  
  
Kelsie walked by and Rudi shoved Hyung off the seat so there was a space left

Hyung got dizzy while Rudi offered the seat to her "Yes Penny?" Kelsie rolled her eyes at him instead "My name is Kelsie"


	12. short story 12: The Special Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TRIGGER WARNING:MAY MENTION REAL LIFE EVENTS)  
> (contains:mention of the checnya death camps in Russia,Homophobia and WWII References)
> 
> (note:this is one of the two chapters in this fanfic series that has a more serious realistic tone than the other usually comedic chapters)

 Adrian,Professor,Hyung,Richard and Kelsie were in the living room...when a loud scream could be heard from Adrian as he was reading a news story on his laptop 

"Oh My Gosh Professor look at what's in the news" Adrian gasped sounding perturbed   
  
The Professor stared responding sternly "Is it about Terrorists?"

Adrian answered "Nein it's about Gays and LGBTQ community"   
  
The Professor asked again "what about the Gays???" 

Adrian explained "Over in North Carolina the Republicans are planning to make it illegal again"

The Professor simply answered with "So?" this had set Adrian's berserk button 

"SO??? that means life is going backwards soon America is going to be republican again,Pro LGBT culture will be underground again and we're all gonna die  ahh~" he yelled  
  
The Professor just gave the same answer he gave the first time  Adrian frowned at him "Professor this is a serious issue"  
  
Kelsie across from the other sofa explained "but Adrian in my country it's still illegal and underground"

Hyung then pointed out "At least they aren't being thrown off buildings like they are in the middle east"

Adrian was still in panic mode 

"But you guys are missing the point most LGBT people in Chechnya,Russia  are going to die soon,republican America will be back and and THERE'S RUSSIAN DEATH CAMPS THAT WILL DESTROY US ALL" 

they all finally understood what Adrian was talking about 

Richard's jaw dropped "that's that's horrible" 

The Professor was still puzzled about it "I thought that didn't happen also aren't there people who don't really care about LGBT people"  
  
Adrian shrieked raising his voice "I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEM THE PROBLEM IS TOO MUCH CONSERVATIVE VIEWS IN THE WORLD'S GOVERNMENT SYSTEM IS GOING TO KILL THE ENTIRE EARTH'S POPULATION!!"

Hyung tried to calm Adrian down "Some of those people just have those views due to the "Politically Correct" culture the world is destructive dangerous place"

meanwhile Rudi was in the other room sitting on his charging station processing the information "I feel very conflicting views about this and I'm confused"  
  
because Rudi was still at his charging station the memories he was receiving were from his former "soul holder"   
  


Rudi was lost while Richard was suddenly quietly rocking back and fourth the mention of Russian camps had activated his trigger for anything to do with Russia,the red army or soviets  Richard had went quiet Hyung looked concerned "Oh no his fear of soviets is activating again"  The Professor stared at them all and said "Have we reached a conclusion?"

 

 

Richard then broke down crying "RUSSIAN POLITICS ARE SCARY AHHHH!" before being calmed down by Hyung 

Adrian pondered "I'm gonna sign a petition to stop this from happening" Hyung replied "To be honest I'm not sure how to feel it's pretty underground in my brother South Korea's place even though it's actually legal there but it's legal in my country in the north so?"  
  
Kelsie agreed "I get what you mean Hyung while the Russian government may be twisted as hell it's not the only bad government out there LGBT stuff is pretty underground in my place too"

out of nowhere Rudi was out of his Charging station which meant his soul holder was in control 

the 4 of them except for Richard who was resting rolled their eyes at Rudi who looked like he was about to give a speech   
  
"to hell with worrying about soviets  
I should be proud  and my hatred of the Russian Government still stands then again....  
it's Greed with their stupid strikes and credit unions  
sure I was a coward by ending it early but I'm not dead anymore sure I'm weak now and was weak then but the power  is still in the palm of my hands  
I'm not going to worry too much about it  
the world is in shambles but I'm back sure they didn't listen to much  
So what some of those people aren't even aware of their own stupidity  
soon they will die and come crawling in that hell I lived in before moaning on their hands and knees"

The others wanted the speech to be over but they knew the only weakness Rudi had in his uncharged state was Kelsie so reluctantly Kelsie went to the kitchen and walked back into the living room with a chocolate bar in her hand  offering the chocolate bar to Rudi "Republicans are lazy idiots do you want a Snickers?" Rudi looked confused "Why"

Kelsie blankly answered "Because  Hitler takes over when your uncharged self tries to talk politics"

Rudi's blue robotic eyes then brightened as he returned to his usual self  "Danke Kelsie" he said softly taking the chocolate bar before eating it once returning to his charging station.


	13. short story 13:Easter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self Explanitory

 It was the early hours of the morning the sun was shining and the birds were tweeting this was when Richard,Kelsie and Hyung were still overstaying their welcome at The Professor's flat,if they thought the Professor was weird they didn't know drunk Richard on Easter. Richard was dressed in a  bunny suit causing a racket in the upstairs hallway clashing cymbals together while he sung the Boku No Pico song badly outside Rudi's bedroom door Rudi was still tired. 

"Richard it's too early for that" he yawned next to Rudi's bedroom door was Adrian's bedroom door Adrian was beyond confused "What the (hockey puck)" he said The Professor then walked out of the bathroom still in his Adventure Time pajamas wondering what all the commotion was about "Oh Dear he's drunk again and he's singing  Boku No Pico that's even worse"

thankfully though The Professor was sober when Kelsie waddled out of her room half awake "Did I watch too much youtube or am I hearing the Boku No Pico song" 

 Hyung then slammed his door open throwing a pillow at Richard's face to get him to be quiet "RICHARD WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THIS INSTANT"

In the Kitchen Richard and Hyung were so out of it as it was revealed Hyung was also completely pissed so they ended up eavesdropping Adrian's laptop when he was browsing tumblr when they found a post that said No matter how kind you are,German children are kinder.

 Hyung asked "The Chocolate?"

 "Nein Hyung you wouldn't expect eggs out of Kelsie" Richard chuckled crudely  

Kelsie coldly stared "could you not this isn't the time or the place"

 

Adrian clicked his hipster glasses and explained "But it's Easter so what if you have to deal with that stuff it's not that different from any other month also they are making egg jokes because it's Easter"  
  
The Professor explained further "Ja research shows a Germanic goddess called Ēostre started Easter before it was stolen by the Christians which is connected with your wicca beliefs"  
  
Rudi was surprised that the professor was actually acting like a professor "Well sounds like the Professor is actually being smart this time amongst all those eggs and magic you're forgetting one symbol of Easter" Bunnies~ Rudi smiled putting a bunny headband on before staring at Kelsie

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Kelsie asked 

Rudi then dashed upstairs with Kelsie tagging along looking through his wardrobe of fur suits taking out a Japanese bunny "kigurumi" zipping it on Kelsie the outfit was alright but it was the fact Rudi of all people put it on that made Kelsie cringe.

By the time they got back downstairs it was met with obnoxious laughter while Kelsie pouted in the bunny fur suit hands folded mumbling "I did not agree to this" before doing a Bugs Bunny impression "What's up Doc"  
  
out of nowhere Rudi then gave her a big hug even though it was more of a squeeze "You truly are a dark maiden however like a mage fairy or fallen angel amongst all the satanic auras you are still Kelsie mien small bunny" 

Adrian stopped chuckling and joked "this Pastel goodness is so going on Tumblr" he responded before taking a picture of bunny suit Kelsie with his phone   
  
The Professor joked "how are we not in prison?"  
  
Rudi's eyes blinked showing he was now fully charged again when he shrugged off The Professor's question "We've all been in prison at some point"  
  
Hyung burped "Yeah me,Richard,my sister,his sister"  
  
Adrian scoffed "At least I'm not a criminal fascist like you lot"  
  
*flashback transition*  
  
(1930s,Nuremberg,Germany)  
  
Richard: Ja I would like to see Mr.Hitler please  
  
Prison Warden:He's in cell 7  
  
Richard: Ok *walks over to cell 7* so how's Prison?  
  
Hitler:I guess they can't let people speak their minds  
  
Richard:well you kind of did go a bit cuckoo by causing a ruckus in that Beer Hall  
  
Hitler:  Ja maybe I should use reason instead of force I am trying to myself look better than the current politicians right?  
  
Richard:that sounds like a plan maybe you should stop looking up to Mussolini so much I've heard some bad things about him  
  
Hitler: nonsense did you know Richard that I've been in jail twice  
  
Richard:when was the first time?  
  
Hitler: back in the day when I was forced to be a soldier when I was trying accomplish my dreams in the arts because of conscription I got in trouble with embassy for not going to war and after being arrested I was forced into the battlefeild up to when I was almost blinded by a Mustard Gas attack, then a British soldier found me and I was hospitalized for a while during my recovery that's when I found out about the corrupt Political state my country was in I guess I was so pent up with anger and vengeance which resulted in my Beer Hall Putch.  
  
Richard: mmm with all these experiences maybe before you try to improve your political career you could write a book maybe a trilogy of novels you are quite the bibliophile after all you could try your hand at being a author letting people know you better through your personal experiences.  
  
Hitler:You know what Richard that sounds like a great idea I'll get right on that I'll call the book Mien Kapf (My Struggle)  
  
Richard:Nice I'll bring my type writer next time so we can get the first draft done

(1940s,Wisconsin,USA)  
  
Hyung: LET ME OUT LET ME OUT YOU FOOLISH AMERICANS YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON LET ME OUT!!!  
  
Soldier:Sounds like this jap is quite cranky he's probably missing his comforting prostitutes and sake  
  
Hyung:WHAT THE F#?< I AM NOT JAPANESE I AM KOREAN I DEMAND YOU TO LET ME OUT OF THIS BIRD CAGE  
  
Another Soldier: you know what maybe we should let this nip out he might be telling the truth  
  
Hyung:I AM TELLING THE TRUTH I WAS FORCED INTO THE JAPANESE ARMY THEN THE SOVIETS AND THEN I ENDED UP WORKING FOR THE NAZI'S BUT I AM NOT JAPANESE I WOULD NEVER RAPE A INNOCENT WOMAN OR EXPERIMENT ON MY OWN PEOPLE IN UNIT 731 PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU LET ME OUT  
  
Another Soldier: what's your name?  
  
Hyung:I am Hyung I am from Pyongyang in Korea    
  
Another Soldier:Then I will release you from here and take you back to Korea  
  
 Soldier:Have you gone insane Alfred  
  
Another Soldier:Trust me I know this Hyung guy  
  
(1950s)  
  
  
Richard *breaking down crying*:W-What? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME AFTER THE WHOLE JOHN RABE SITUATION I CHANGED FROM MESSENGER BOY TO SOLDIER I WAS MAINLY ON THE BATTLEFIELD I HAD NO IDEA THE REST OF THESE ATROCITIES WERE GOING ON  THOSE TYRANTS THOSE EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS THOSE WASTES OF OXYGEN I AM NO LONGER ASSOCIATED WITH THAT PARTY ANYMORE RAINE MY DEAR BRUDER TELL THEM I'M INNOCENT AND I'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM  
  
Richard's brother Raine: I've never seen this person in my life he's clearly delusional  
  
Judge:would you rather be hung,shot or executed  
  
Richard *apathetic and depressed*:None of the above I've disgraced the country enough I'll kill myself instead   
  
(later)  
  
Alfred (a WWII mate of Richard's):hey Richard you were in WWII right?  
  
Richard *dejected*:Ja why?  
  
Alfred:would you like to join a project where man could possibly walk on the moon  
  
Richard:that sounds ok I guess sure why not  
  
(1960s,Paris,France)  
  
Odelia: I can't believe I was caught again I'm a terrible spy nothing like my brothers  
  
Paulette: Oh Odelia dry those tears they don't look good on your portrait of a face...spying takes time to to master I should know the revolution was a nightmare that almost killed me and my brother  
  
Odelia: w-who are you?  
  
Paulette:I am Paulette  a fellow spy from this beautiful city of Paris I'm sure  you could be a great spy

Odelia:you think so?  
  
Paulette *picking a lock*:Oui Odelia now let's get you out of this cell so we can go for a pleasant walk in the city  
  
Odelia*blushing*:but this is so sudden  
  
Paulette: I see you yearn for the outdoors with bright skylines and graceful birds flying by so you and I are going for a walk

Odelia:Ja I will go on a walk with you  
  
Paulette: good  
  
(early 1980s,Belfast,Northern Ireland)  
  
Kelsie *as a punk*:YEAH! ANARCHY  
  
Officer Arthur (Arthur is Kelsie's English brother who didn't meet until that decade):Miss Kirkland you are under arrest for disturbing the peace  
  
(later on)  
  
Officer Arthur: "Kelsie the only reason your in jail is so you can get away from those riots also this is the only escape you have  
others are starving themselves out of guilt because of those riots by the way What do you mean your haven't eaten?  
  
Kelsie:*shrugs*  
  
(later)  
  
Kelsie: *eating food Arthur bought from Tesco*  
  
(1990s,Seoul,South Korea)  
  
Eun-Ji: Stupid Saesangs  
  
Kim Jong Kook: Anyeong Eun-Ji I've bailed you out  
  
Eun-Ji: Oh my it's Kim Jong Kook eeeeeeeeeeeee  
  
Kim Jong Kook:I just wanted to give you something in return for helping me escape from those sasengs  
  
Eun-Ji: y-you're very welcome  
  
(20XX,Dimension X,Alternate Universe New York,USA)  
  
Cop:you're under arrest for driving under the influence  
  
Professor *flirting with the officer*: but I wanna dance and be what I want to be you hot waifu  
  
Cop:Sir could you please stop it I'm married

 *flashback ends*  
  
Richard now sober pondered "We've been to prison but have we ever gotten married"

*cutaway gag*

(Buttmeat presents: a Fandom Wedding) (definitely not a Buzzfeed pun)  
  
Richard squealed gleefully  "I'm a Disney Princess now where's my prince?"  
  
Hyung was wearing a female wedding hanbok  when he cringed coldly to himself "Why am I doing this?"  
  
Adrian smirked that he was wearing an Elsa costume as he over dramatically moaned   "let me go let me go can't deal with these dorks anymore"  
  
The Professor was sniffling "why did Rick Sanchez ignore my marriage request?"  
  
Adrian blankly answered with a sassy attitude "because he's not Gay"

  
The Professor whined to Adrian annoyingly "Tumblr says he is and you said Tumblr is always right"  
  
  Rudi was in a snow white costume that was one of his favorite of the older Disney films so he badly sung "someday my prince will come some daaaay my prince will"

until loud footsteps could be overheard

Kelsie for some reason was cross playing as Mickey Mouse from Prince and the Pauper "Which one of you is getting married today?" she asked coldly   
  
All of them responded with a huff "None of us"  
  
*some Irish profanity is overheard from outside Kelsie wasn't the only Irish person they knew,it wasn't Father Ted it was....Kelsie's sister Lisa who was the vicar or at least was good at impersonating one  
  
"Sorry I'm late ok lads I'll be the vicar of this so thou who isn't wed sit down please" Lisa declared in her brogue Irish accent   
  
The Professor mumbled "but I have no ring"  

The *wedding* went on anyway even though Lisa might've misdirected her eye shadow as there was a dark grey blue ish tinge under her nose unfortunately she didn't notice which made it very awkward for Richard and the others because when they think of someone with a dark thing under their nose using exaggerated hand movements in a speech wearing black they certainly don't think of Charlie Chaplin he's not a priest or a fascist.   
  
Adrian's jaw dropped "What are you doing?" before breaking the fourth wall again "Narrator they both wear black and tell those weaker than them what to do in this patriarchy of a society"

Rudi blankly stared at Adrian ranting "Who are you talking to?"

Adrian then remembered he was fictional and he was supposed to be in a comedy sketch 

The Professor shouted "For the love of Leonard Nimoy would you two be quiet this is supposed to be a wedding"

Adrian felt sarcastic when answering back "Wedding? please it's merely a slow roleplay wedding with only 7 people in attendance 

Lisa then brought in some amps from her car and screeched the wedding vows to the tune of Heavy Metal instrumentals   
  
"WITH THIS HAND I WILL LIFT YOUR SORROWS.  
  
YOUR CUP WILL NEVER BE EMPTY  
  
FOR I WILL BE YOUR WINE.  
  
WITH THIS CANDLE,  
  
I WILL LIGHT YOUR WAY INTO DARKNESS."

Rudi had a packet of hula hoop crisps in his hand instead of a ring he picked up a crisp and handed it to Kelsie   
  
Adrian still wouldn't stop being salty but this time he aimed his insult at Lisa "YOU TOTALLY STOLE THAT FROM CORPSE BRIDE YOU ARSE"

(cutback to the main story) It is now the evening   
  
The Professor well have we even tried any good pick up lines before?  
  
*flashback to when Hyung and Richard were at a cake shop sometime in the mid 90s or early 2000s*

Richard licked the icing off his chocolate cake

"mmm Hyung I like that frosting" he said innocently

Hyung thought it was a double entendre and was disgusted "YOU WATCH TOO MUCH HENTAI" Hyung screamed 

some people in the background of the shop were asking themselves "what's hentai?"

Hyung sighed quietly feeling like he had humiliated Richard in front of everyone it was rare that they'd actually go out anywhere casually

but Richard wasn't phased he just giggled "The look on your face brilliant" accidentally flicking some of the icing from his spoon onto Hyung's cheek  
Hyung blinked but didn't notice until he saw Richard lightly licking it off his cheek he'd usually get angry but instead he blushed 

*flashback ends*

the rest of them also fawned at Hyung "Da'wwwww"

Adrian then played a small prank on the Professor nicking his "dad collar" putting it over his sweater he winked and said in high pitched voice "Daddy"  
  
Professor doted "awwww you said my name"

Adrian then smirked answering back "No I said a death of dog" making an anime reference The Professor hadn't seen Fullmetal Alchemist though but Richard had that made him sniffle "NINA!!!"  
Adrian ended his bad joke set up with "Besides I'm already a shota"  The Professor gasped "HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"   Kelsie and Rudi ignored them Rudi offered "Do you want to get some ice cream?" Kelsie nodded "Sure" so they went off to go for a walk in the park getting ice cream cones on the way back   
  
  
  
Kelsey (Me the writer/narrator): Well this narrator is going to rest that's enough tumblr and sketches for today   
  
*footsteps are overheard*  
  
Kelsey: Zzz  
  
Richard:SOVIETS ARE HAUNTING ME AGAIN KELSEY CAN I SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT  
  
Kelsie: O_O if you want to just don't take up too much space I don't want to be sleeping on the floor   
  
*more footsteps are overheard*

Kelsey:what now?  
  
Hyung: Those PSA's you watch are scary Kelsey I don't like seeing nukes self destruct it makes me fear for my own nukes  
  
Kelsey *shrugs*  
  
*even more footsteps are overheard*  
  
Professor:I HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT VORE   
Kelsey *sighing*:great   
  
(later Kelsie has nightmares of her own)  
  
Kelsey: *awakens* AHH STOP IT GET AWAY  
  
All of them: Kelsey is something wrong?

 Kelsey *yawning*:Goodnight from me and Goodnight from them 


	14. short story 14: Sketch not sitcom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fanfic styled like a scripted sketch show/sitcom yet there have been more sitcom esque chapters than there have been sketch show type chapters  
> (this chapter goes back to basics)  
> by making fun of dead memes

(The How Guys Shower meme)

Richard: how Austrian people shower same as you of course mortals first we get nice and wet and then we get the polka music and hasta la vista not all Austrian people sound like Mr. Schwarzenegger now let me show the pastel queen inside me with some schwarzkopf to add some frosting to the red velvet cake

Hyung: how Korean people shower same as you of course  first we get nice and wet and Oh Crap am I gaining weight I need to add some ramen to my diet

  
Adrian: how Robots shower same as you dummkopf first we get nice and wet and I'm not short circuiting that's a stereotype check your cyborg privilege  
  
Professor: how Western bara material shower first we get nice and wet and then I act like a complete dork until I am accepted by fangirls  on tumblr who ship me with Grunkle Stan and Rick Sanchez who I have video game parties with while we fight over Mulan Teriyaki sauce.

  
Rudi: how robots shower same as you idiot first we get nice and wet and then we have tea and biscuits  
and what are you seeing are you seeing anything of course not because I am  well maybe I'm haunting you maybe I'm not maybe I'm being ironic maybe not maybe I'm cosplaying maybe not but I'm sure he doesn't smell like Old Spice that's right

  
Kelsie: how Irish people shower same as you wanker  first we get nice and wet and then we listen to Alternative music to forget about our SaW trap which is our government borrowing culture from other places while I remember that both us and Germany are responsible for Christmas, Halloween and even the Grim Reaper so Top of the Midnight lads because we all go to hell because we are almost dead after all.

*reading fan fiction*

Richard: Ok Germans don't have zeds in most of their vocabulary kinders these days *cringe*

Hyung:WHY AM I ALWAYS PORTRAYED AS THE VIOLENT DEADLY ARROGANT ONE I'M NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL

Adrian:Oh these is amazing *slurps lemonade proudly*

  
Odelia: Oh my you don't get much guys like this in real life  
Eun-Ji:OH MA GAWD G DRAGON SO TOPS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Professor *is turned on and is doing something*:ummmmm (grabs a tissue) *hears doorbell* GO AWAY  
Rudi: *walks in shrugs but then looks at the other room  
Kelsie *playing a pretend dating sim*: Well this is interesting I won the good ending  
Rudi: Why have Mystic Messanger when you can have mich  
Kelsie: Korea made Mystic Messanger  
Hyung:SCORE!  
Rudi:Oh *looks* well I'm definitely a Jumin  
Professor *from the other room*: You have a fear of cats  
Eun-Ji:Ooooooo so you're a 707 or Zen  
Rudi:Nein I'm nothing like seven even if we like the same clothes *blushes* and I'm nothing like Zen either *starts to lose battery life* even if we both like the Arts,Romance and come from rough beginnings and have rumours spread about us but to be honest Zen is a more pompus Richard or Feglein to be honest  
Richard:WHAT EXCUSE ME?  
Fegelein's ghost: What?  
Professor: roasted  
Rudi:and you Kelsie are much like that frau Jaehee  
Kelsie: she works for a cynical business man who likes cats I don't I'm not a poncy tory I was in my own country being a anarchist street punk  
Kelsie: *faints*  
Rudi:did I do something wrong PROFESSOR YOU SAID IT WAS A GOOD THING IF I MADE FRAU's FAINT  
Professor:I'm not a dictionary and you barely have one    
Richard:*walks over to Rudi looking offended* I'm not Pompus I'm Flamboyant anyways Kelsie's fine but she should lie down sometimes people can develop heart problems literally if they have some dangerous romance moments either negative or positive  
Rudi:I think I recall Ernst Gandermann saying that  
Rudi:Kelsie I'm very sorry for making you faint  
Kelsie:It's fine get charged you numpty 

*(a test to see how the other persons body feels)*  
Richard: he feels soft like his Leather Jacket  
Hyung: he feels smooth like his mild muscles  
Adrian: like a blanket and carbon leather he is a cyborg after all like Baymax (Adrian:WHAT?)  
Professor: Greasy but also cuddly like a teddy bear or Heavy from Team Fortress 2 (Professor:I'm not that fat)  
Rudi: mildy hairy but that's ticklish and also soft and refined  
Richard: She is Gentle  
Hyung: She is like a moon dusty but mysterious  
Adrian: She is actually ok I guess but not without Instagram filters  
Professor: she is smol  
Rudi: she is Soft and cuddly  
Hee: she is like a Marionette  
Odelia:she's so delicate like a old angelic doll  
Richard:Who wants a pillow fight? ^^

narrator:now I don't know the capitals of countries?

Rome: I was the offspring of ancient rome but here I am buying fancy shoes  
Tokyo:I had a strong government but now we have fingerless gangsters  
Berlin:I used to have glory but now I stay indoors watching tv to avoid being reminded of that damn wall  
DC: WE ARE DOOMED (Invader Zim impersonation)  
London:I still love the subcultures I'm in but now my place is filled with tory gammon in the nearest bin  
Paris: I used to be welcoming and fun but now it's all republican and glum  
Moscow: we already had no hope to begin with  
Madrid: I got drunk with Beijing last night @_@  
Odelia:Are you saying I'm old dear I'm only 29 but now 24 because timeskips  
Hee: How does Trump think he can fix us?  
Eun-Ji:OMG! Yoongi is so kiyomi squeals


	15. short story 15: 420

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rudi's Birthday

It was a another average day kidding it was Rudi's birthday they were spending it at the desert shop

  
Richard and Hyung were arguing in the shower Hyung yelled "I got soap in my eye because of you" only for Richard to answer with "Sorry I'll fix that" and stop looking at my abs )  
Adrian and Rudi were also arguing in Rudi's bedroom where an "incident" had occurred Adrian was "short circuiting" it was basically a robotic panic combined with feeling flustered)  
  
Richard declared "Alles Gute zum Gubertstag to you Happy Birthday to you" (Happy Birthday in austrian) to Rudi. The Professor and Odelia joined in "Happy 22nd Birthday to our dear Rudi happy birthday to you" "Danke  it's a pleasure to celebrate this occasion" Rudi smiled   
Hyung apologized as soon as he got in the door forgetting to put his cigerette away "Sorry I'm late I was busy doing stuff Saengil Chukhahaeyo neukdae" (Happy Birthday in Korean)  
Richard was unimpressed and shocked "Are you smoking Hyung?".

  
Hyung awkwardly tossed his cigerette away "what no I wouldn't do that"   The Professor guessed why Hyung was smoking "I know what Hyung's doing it's also 420 today" Richard then remembered

*FLASHBACK*

It was the 1970s Richard and Hyung were traveling overseas in America at the height of flower power,Alternative music and drug culture 

Richard looked more like the Professor with his Ozzy Osbourne glasses before he was into goth he was into Black Sabbath,Sex Pistols and Glam Rock 

Hyung at the time had just reunited with Richard a few months earlier so he didn't know what to make of the fashion at the time but Richard had introduced him to the punk rock scene and Hyung ate it all up under he got more into hip hop as the decade went on    

Richard and Hyung were at Woodstock Hyung was able to relax in the sunshine but Richard was shaking his body felt frantic until one of the hippies gave him a mysterious plant rolled up into a joint to help him relax at the festival "hey flower child try this it will help you chill out" Richard inspected the plant closer  "what is this?" Richard wondered the hippie responded with "Just a bit of green to calm your senses" before walking back to his blanket  Richard then smoked it he felt more chill   
  
(flash forward)  
Richard remembered "420 is a drug holiday" Rudi responded "I know and in some context that is also a medical drug"  
Richard turned his eyes "so your not annoyed that he smokes?"

Rudi shook his head "Nein back then it was overused and while it still is your Hyung friend probably just uses it as "medicine" and if it isn't it's just a casual activity"

The Professor responded flabbergasted "ACTIVITY?" Rudi then explained "Sure it may be cancerous but unlike humans we are immortal we don't have to deal with that and if we do it rarely and away from sensitive noses we are fine"  Adrian out of nowhere then strut his stuff  as he walked inside "Happy Birthday Rudi"

Rudi then joked "At least your not holding me up high because I have a fear of heights"  
Adrian burst out laughing in response  Odelia exclaimed "Oh My" while The Professor focused on a pie he wasn't done finishing  
  
Kelsie turned up later on "It took until the end for me to show up stupid traffic"  
  Rudi:*emotionless*:you are my Gift  
  


The Professor sung to himself "I,I, my austrian pie"


	16. short story 16: Politics is delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:References to the Manchester terrorist attack  
> (note:this is one of the two chapters in this fanfic series that has a more serious realistic tone than the other usually comedic chapters)

WARNING:Serious event referenced

 Adrian was reading a news story on his laptop,The Professor was watching tv with Richard,Hyung and Rudi who was asleep  
  
Professor asked concerned "Hey did you hear what happened on the news?"  
  
Adrian nodded with an emotionless expression on his face

Hyung solemnly declared "The ARMY's will stand with the arianators when will this end?"  
  
Richard pondered "That's a peculiar fandom name but still it's awful what happened"  
  
Kelsie rolled her eyes sternly "there's tolerance and then there's ignoring genocides"  
  
Hyung answered "I wouldn't call it a genocide only 22 people died" while reaching for his wine bottle   
Hyung's sisters were also reacting 

Eun-Ji exclaimed "Terrorism has no place in Pop music " while Hee sobbed her eyes out   
"It's so sad those parents must be so upset that their little boy/girl won't be coming home"  
  
Richard still jaw dropped was trying to comprehend "But there's  others still missing"  
  
Odelia  frowned "this is the second terror attack in England this year"

Hyung was starting to get quite intoxicated   
  
"You know Kelsie's place and England are known for people disappearing,dying or getting murdered" he offensively pointed out completely sloshed leaning on a table  
  
Kelsie glared at Hyung "Shut Up"  
  
The Professor tried to calm them down "But people offered to help and that at least shows our humanity is still alive taxi's helped some victims get home and some hotels offered shelter"

Adrian explained "Racism is still seeping through I have my sympathy for the victims and parents but because of this terror attack Muslims will be subject to even more racist vandalism and prejudice than before"  
  
Hyung at this point was extremely drunk when he shouted "But it's them who follow Islam" before falling off the table"

Richard had enough and slapped Hyung across the face " "Some Hyung but not all  
you can't escape it not even with alcohol that just increases your anger" he said annoyed  
  
Hyung yelled "'IM NOT DRUNK YOU KRAUT" before stumbling and slipping on the clean floor  
  
  Rudi finally awoke from his nap and said something standing up as if he was giving a speech thankfully this time it was Rudi doing the talking not his programming

EVERYONE SHUT UP  
The event is tragic yes,did some people try to help? yes,will Muslims end up having lots of racist comments thrown at them? most likely,Should Hyung cut back on drinking during news reports about terrorist attacks? absolutely  
Now let's agree that while having humanitarianism is good we cannot erase the damage that was already done.  
  
we must remove terrorists from that other planet (earth) but if we tried to help sure some would aid us in stopping terrorism but the news companies would get on our asses manipulating our opinions adding more to the fire  
  
we will do what we can to help but it will probably take decades for them to leave us alone they have a older culture than us and are stronger than us   
  
we need to show them that we will not tolerate it any longer and while we are open minded people they need to be aware that terrorism awareness isn't prejudice and that while yes we can understand why you would leave your home we don't want  WWIII to happen

Throw down the torches,bombs and bayonets

soon the world will have more graveyards than swing sets

if we want peace religous extremism must cease

Never forget Manchester 

we can break free we won't resist no more 


	17. short story 17: Making More References

Richard,Rudi and Kelsie were visiting the other universes (the one The Professor and Adrian are from)via a Clone teleporter

Richard asked what about the other "clones" of me from this "alternate universe"

a Richard with a black faux fur jacket walked in with a cigarette in hand "Nah I'm just gonna listen to music and watch TV"

a even more Gothic Richard walked in "OMG! Hyung look at these bracelets they are so necro"  
  
a Richard in a nurse uniform walked in "No matter what the situation your health is important  
  
a Female Richard with long hair walked in cheerfully "You can spend Valentines day with mich if you want"  
holds a plush

another Female Richard walked in holding her hands in a devil horns symbol "Ace of Spades,Ace of Spades"!

a baby Richard crawled out of the dimension door in a plum coloured nightie holding and cuddling a teddy bear

a Child Richard walked out before bringing a pirate ship shaped bed with him appearing to be having a pillow fight "Abandon ship mien future selves pillows are too powerful" 

Teenage Richard walked out astonished at the world's technology "Wow you have so many pictures this "Internet" is interesting"  
  
Europop Richard raved 

another Richard went in and out of the dimension teleporter saying "Dammit am I in the wrong outfit again?"

and loud Sex Pistols music could be overheard before a punk looking Richard kicked the bonnet of a car yelling in a British accent "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT  scheisskopf "

regular Richard was shocked and amazed at all the versions there were of him "but what about Rudi and his soul holder"? he thought  
  
Rudi blankly stared  "I exist"

a female Rudi walked out sighing coldly "Well this is unexpected but I guess it fits oh wait I'm a dead dictator I don't care about a reputation"

Rudi called "Kelsie do you want to see how many versions of you there is"

Kelsie coldly answered "Fine" 

freaking the fourth wall she said "Sometimes I'm me other times I'm my creator of the same name"

Kelsie pressed the teleporter button

another Kelsie walked out in pastel goth clothing "Poison flavored candy is the aesthetic of the jelly that is my sinking soul"

a Child Kelsie looked like she was cooking up a wicca spell in a cauldron 

a Teen Kelsie was reading a poem book "ANARCHY" she declared proudly 

a Boy Kelsie walked out folding his hands hiding his lovestruck emotions in a emo way "Why does Richelle  like me I'm not that interesting" before listening to his headphones 

a Baby Kelsie was on the same mat Baby Richard was on except she was asleep

Europop Kelsie was doing a cover of a Spice Girls song "Stop right now thank you very much I need a mysterious ghostly touch"

however because they had spent too much time at the teleporter Kelsie,Richard and Adrian had a voice mix up 

 

when Richard got a call from one of his cousins only for them to notice Richard's voice sounded like Hyung's "Whoah cousin are you ok you sound like you have a cold?"  
Richard was  unimpressed "crap"

Hyung was also on a call with a family member in this case his sister Eun-Ji but Hyung's voice was Richard's and he was experimenting with rap  
Eun-Ji just roasted him "Autotune doesn't work with your bad rapping bro Hyung simply rolled his eyes in response 

The Professor had Adrian's voice he whined "Please I don't want a drugged shota whore voice"

Adrian was offended but had Professor's voice "I'm not a yaoi toy I have nothing down there"

they then squabbled "YOU ROBOT DICK" "NO YOU'RE A SOYBOI ROBOT DICK" "NO YOU"

Richard then found the reason on the calender 

Kelsie and Rudi were sitting on the sofa Kelsie keeping quiet  
Rudi had Kelsie's voice when he explained "It's just a potion it'll ware off soon"  
Kelsie shook her head  Rudi asked "What's wrong?"

Kelsie grabbed some paper and jotted down about the problems she's had in the past with her voice how it sometimes changes and it doesn't have a traditional northern Irish accent and how sometimes it would be too loud,how she couldn't control it in the past even if she didn't intend to be loud people would often say she sounded rude,sharp and loud when she wasn't and didn't how to fix it and how she doesn't want it happening again Rudi wrote on some paper too but about his own problems and experiences with his voice  
he finished the note with a "it's ok I understand we both have broken frequencies but I know you  have the same brakes as a music jack in the box now speak for mich" smiling when he heard Kelsie say "Danke" with her voice partly returning as they cuddled

 

(Cutaway gag)

Kelsie is Veroncia from the 80s film Heathers and Rudi is JD who had just shot a popular fast food mascot only for a burger to appear in his hand out of thin air

Kelsie asked "How did you make a burger appear out of thin air?"  
  
Rudi shrugged "I just killed Wendy"

when suddenly The Professor and Adrian ran out of a nearby bush dressed as cops "you just killed Wendy" Adrian declared while The Professor angrily responded "You bastards"

(cutaway gag)

Kelsie is mocking Rudi's emo look  
"He looks like a emo,he looks like a emo I know of...the oldest emo to ever exist"

Rudi scoffed "I'm not old"

  
Meanwhile in the other universe

Hippie Professor is yelling from the kitchen "Adrienne  and Dolphin get your butts downstairs it's breakfast time"

Female Rudi ran downstairs interupting the Professor "Um my name isn't Dolphin it's Adolphine"

Hippie Professor scolded her "Quiet Dolphin and eat your pancakes"


	18. short story 18: The Fan Service

Richard/Hyung/Adrian/Professor and Rudi are singing

  
Richard sings:

take the grail and drink the cup when it's empty your soul is gone  
  
Hyung sings:

light palm trees in the moonlight war with no end in sight and what about the rations where's the rice!!!!!!!!  
  
Adrian:Well look at what you see it's not who you want it to be I am standing proudly cuddling cats cheerfully while I walk like I on the place while ice cream butterfly is some good bait when I have a Pastel shades on my face  
  
The Professor:looks nowhere nothing happens knowing hope is no more i guess I should dress in Lolita Gore femmine voice GUNS ARE SLIDING ALONG THE PLANE,AND CRASH when you survive like Batman's bane switchblades flying above the sky while I am tired while explorating my world when I'm high  
  
Kelsie:Life is standing on stilts I'm like a flower that only wilts messages words the whole humanity can be changed when I'm brought back it's like a fantasy  
The Pride is gone as it washed away  
we have no government and ones we have only have daft things to say  
thinking of a time without dust and broken brain barnacles  
I remember the days where there was buried treasure,serenity and not much to worry except anarchy  
  
ANARCHY the a on that report card has a symmetrical face if it isn't the libertarians tories would spit at your face  
  
even kids are like puppets who can't get personal space I'm in a blurred line while there's a x on my face because I'm Plain  
  
ANARCHY Rebelling without any jail time opening up a text book and thinking of a different time  
  
where the only flag would be black and red  
  
jobs were available gender roles wasn't a "problematic bubble"  
puppies and kittens to pet lots of goals to set  
  
outside of some daft spies and healthcare that was still as broken as ever  
that time was nice but when some people think of it they think of a decades old massacre and never more  
  
ANARCHY THE SMELLS OF PASTEL ICE CREAM AND INCENSE PASSING MY NOSE  
  
WEARING A HIPPY GRAFFITI WALL OF COLOURFUL CLOTHES  
  
IGNORING THE LAW BUT NOT TO VANDALISE A FLAW  
  
If I'm going to drink human flesh it's going o be raw  
  
indivualists ideals have been ignored republicans are lazy and bored  
socialism nowadays has a bad rap so what belief still hasn't reshone it's light  
  
ANARCHY  
Adrian casually cuddling Shrodinger  
  
both richards petting a rare species of korean known as Hyung  
  
and Rudi is smiling at the site of puppies

*cutaway gag*

butts

Professor:watch out for my butt  
  
Kelsie:;---;  
  
Richard:I guess my brother was right austrian butts are more cosy  
  
Kelsie:um  
  
Hyung: why  
  
Kelsie:uhhhhh  
  
  
Adrian short circuiting:T-this is awkward help  
Kelsie:O/////////O  
  
Professor:I'm greasy  
Kelsie:like a fast food grill -__-  
  
Rudi:this hoodie is soft  
  
Kelsie: ^-^ comfy  
Rudi/Adrian/Professor:We have no fandom Kelsey  
  
Richard:Hetalia was a mistake  
  
Hyung:Hetalia is a mistake because I never got to be included in it and in fanworks I'm usually a violent blood hungry moron who is often roleplayed by trolls with communist bias views  
Richard:Ummmmm  
  
Eun-Ji:Anyeong ^-^ you're quite handsome  
  
Richard:0////0  
  
Hyung:why are you so colourful  
  
Adrian: why are you so lame with your hashtags and boy bands  
  
Professor:mmmmm Mulan Sauce want some  
  
Kelsie:sure  
  
  Rudi stares:and here I am forever alone  
  
(cutaway gag) 

  
Richard:who wants this in their strudel  
  
Hyung as a k pop band member:Nobody  
  
Professor as a bishie bara:Hey Ladies  
  
Hitler; (BACK IN THE DAY)  
  
Ladies:WOW FAINTS  
  
Hitler(sees a bunch of female corpses of his exs) I was a lady killer even though that wasn't intentional  
  
Hitler(at the olyimipics dancing and joining in the fun)  
  
American Woman: kisses him  
  
Hitler:>//////<  
  
(later)  
  
Professor sounds like austin powers:Groovy baby  
  
Rudi:*face desk* the Professor is a twat  
  
Professor:you actually were one once  
  
Rudi:don't remind me  
Hyung tries a Korean taste test  
  
Hyung: Eun-Ji how can you eat bugs??? spits it out  
  
and Now for the Try boys  
  
Richard doted on Hyung "I love my boyfriend Hyung"  
  
Hyung tried to remove Richard's hands from his shoulders resisting "SHUT YOUR SMOOTH SEXY MOUTH YOU KRAUT"  
  
Adrian sarcastically remarked "I'm the sassy liberal who likes kittens so Hyung stop being racist to hide your repressed homosexual urges" before slurpping his bubble tea  
  
The Professor then bragged "I love being the "dad" figure and seeing females half my age on tumblr writing fanfics about me and Rick Sanchez and Grunkle Stan having a snowball fight."


	19. short story 19:Too Many Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the serious moments are in descriptive but the cutaway gags are in script format

  
Rudi explained "Kelsie there are some agreements we have decided on" as he paced  about the room  
  
Rudi: flicked on a light saying "while cynicism is normal you have been cynical too much recently so you'll need a punishment"  
"there is one thing this wolf will not give mercy for" he warned before walking over with monster cosplay soft hands  
  
Rudi started laughing "which is tickling you until a smile filled with sunshine is on your face" while tickling Kelsie with the feather duster   
  
Kelsie responded with "Ah! Ah~ Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"  
  
(transition)

  
Adrian looked at the night sky while walking home "it's getting quite dark tonight" before he got struck by lighting

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" he screamed   
  
Adrian attempted to run home looking like he was limping by the time he reached the front steps

  
Richard said concerned "Oh My Adrian you have lighting trees on your back and arm"  
  
Adrian wept in agony "It BURNS I AM COOKED HELP!!!"  
  
Richard answered "I'll go get the Professor and Rudi" before dashing off to fetch them  
  
Richard  shouted "Professor come quickly Adrian has been struck by lighting"  
  
The Professor ran with his first aid kit "What?"  
  
The Professor eventually came to Adrian's aid  "Don't worry Adrian I'm here now can you breathe alright?" he asked   
  
Adrian answered sounding glitchy "Kind of I am short circuiting and not in the usual way"   
  
The Professor tried to help him settle as said"I know I know" before giving him a breathing mask  
  
now let me give a thorough physical examination  
  
Rudi peeked out from the other room wondering what was going on "what happened Professor?"  
  
The Professor answered "Adrian got shocked by lighting and has some injuries aswell as a out of control temperature" holding the thermoteter that was going from warm to cold to warm  
  
Rudi was shocked but that didn't stop him from lightly poking Adrian's stomach  
  
Adrian coldly responded "Ow! quit it"  
  
Rudi's jaw dropped at Adrian's temperature "you're like a volcano"  
  
The Professor described "Now hold still Adrian" as he took an Injection pump and used it as suction (since Adrian is still a cyborg who like other computers is effected by glitches & other symptoms)  
  
Adrian sniffled trying to not look he was crying 

Rudi blankly stared at the blubbering Adrian "are you crying?" he asked  
Adrian whined "Nein of course not" sobbing

Rudi started speaking in a softer tone in his response "It's ok to cry you know nobody's laughing"  
  
Adrian then went from sobbing to whinging  
  
The Professor had completes his first aid when he explained "ok Adrian let's cool you down"  
  
Hyung peeked through the kitchen door "don't robots have negative reactions to water" he asked  
  
Professor responded "Adrian is a different type of robot can you move ok?"   
  
Adrian coldly answered "just barely"  
  
Richard had ran back to where Adrian,Professor and Rudi were  hands folded asking "how did you get inside then?"  
  
Adrian rolled his eyes "I was limping"  
  
Richard realized  "Oh I shall prepare some healing candles" he said back getting some healing candles   
  
Adrian changed his tone of voice to being more timid sounding when he made a request "Professor while I'm cooling down could you leave the room please"  
  
The Professor agreed to the request "certainly you probably sustained some trauma from the incident"  
  
Adrian then added on "could Rudi stay though"  
  
Rudi smiled "Ok I'll help you" before picking Adrian up carrying him to the bathroom  
  
(later)  
  
Rudi then placed  Adrian lightly in the bathtub  
  
Rudi curiously asked "so why did you want me to stay"?  
  
Adrian awkwardly explained "because I'm supposed to be a cyborg like you  but today I realized how vulnerable I really am"  
  
Rudi comforted him "there isn't anything wrong with having weaknesses we all have them but that was quite the situation you've gotten yourself into"  
  
Adrian answered unhappily "I know it was stupid I should've noticed the danger"  
Rudi tried to calm Adrian down "I used to cry a lot and have been in  traumatizing events so you aren't stupid it's a horrible experience but it happens to most of us."  
Adrian processed the information and sobbed while Rudi hugged him 

(and now onto something less sad)  
  
(transition) (volkswagon pulls up a driveway)  
Richard:GET IN LOSER WE'RE GOING SHOPPING  
Adrian:We don't want to be late do we  
Rudi:I hope we see puppies  
Professor:Let's knock them dead  
Kelsie in a sandwich costume: how did this happen?  
Professor:*throws*  
Adrian:this is what would happen if you keep not defending yourself  
Kelsie: I'll become a topping?  
Professor:Nah you'll be a dodge ball  
Kelsie: what even is the moral  
Richard:That these idiots should never be drunk at once because then they contradict everything they say and make everything confusing  
  
Kelsie is in a Pokemon trainer uniform:What is even happening  
  
Bullies:*throws water bottle and stares creepily*  
  
(Pokemon battle theme starts)  
  
Kelsie:WHAT THE  
  
(Rudi wants to Battle)  
  
(chooses attack: (Poison)  
  
Kelsie:O_O  
  
One bully collapses  
  
Rudi:*gives money* Kelsie go get yourself something pretty here's 1000,000 pokemon euros  
  
(Alex is waiting for Battle)  
  
(Wait a balloon with a Schrodinger sign is approaching)  
  
Richard:Prepare for Trouble  
Hyung:Make it double  
Schrodinger:Miau that's right  
  
etc. etc.  
  
Alex wants to battle  
  
(Alex: chooses a sheep keychain as a attack of a Fairy Pokemon)  
  
  Schrodinger *holding the star keychain on the balloon*:Would you be interested in a new religon?  
  
Hyung:Ahhhhhh! Richard what do we do  
  
Richard  is distracted by the star keycahin because they are hypothesized: Awwwwww that's so niedlich  
  
Hyung:YOU FOOL  
  
(Team Niche is blasting off again)  
  
Alex: shrugs:What can I say the welsh love their sheep

  
Bully *is still there: (walks very close too close)  
  
Alex *changes Pokemon attack Water attack*  
  
Bully dies of hypothermia  
  
Kelsey:so Adrian and Professor are Brock and Misty I guess?  
  
Professor (as brock):these doughnuts are my favorite jelly filled are my favorite nothing beats a jelly filled  
  
Adrian: Penis Professor that's Racist it's not a donut it's a korean sushi roll  
  
Kelsey:=_=  
  
Kelsey faints  
  
(Kelsey wakes up in Poke Center)  
  
Kelsey:That was too much for my brain to take in my head hurts  
  
Alex:that was probably due to how you've been feeling recently you feel like nothing makes sense and using your coldness as a way to forget about your weaknesses  
  
Kelsey:I can't help overthinking and procrastinating  
  
Alex: lightly playfully squishes her cheek You need to remember your self care Kelsey and don't worry about the other two you have me I'll make your their pointless rambles don't overflow your mind further that's unhealthy  
  
Kelsey:thank you for that but I have one more question  
  
  Rudi walking in:the idea replacement for this scenario and your sexually confused thoughts and kink for food?  
  
Adrian:Of Course not  
  
Kelsey feeling awkward and perverted:Why are you wearing a dress Alex?  
that's my weakness has hearts in eyes  
  
Richard smirks:a different type of weakness  
  
Hyung:WHY AM I THE ONE WITH INFLATABLE BOY BAND BREASTS  
  
Professor: What a silly Pokemon parody this has been sponsored by Subway  
  
Adrian:Finally the square point  
  
Adrian: has sandwich shoved in his mouth  
  
Richard:ME  
Adrian:You and I are goth not emo posers  
  
Rudi:what's a emo?  
  
  
Hyung  staring in a grim reaper cloak:  
  
Kelsie: but I'm not a poor country  
  
  
Professor:Hi Hitler I'm Richard I like money  
  
Rudi:I already have money because I'm rich *puts glasses on*  
  
Adrian:I wish I had money  
  
Hee:YOU'RE THE ONE TO TALK  
  
All of the othersO.O  
  
Hee: haha nothing  
Adrian:Oh well  
  
Richard:it would be a shame if we started some  
  
Eun-Ji:Drama  
  
Professor:I WANNA BE I WANNA BE FAMOUS  
  
Rudi:I used to be famous  
  
Hyung:who wants some chicken testicles?  
  
Eun-Ji:ewwwwww  
  
Richard:uhhhhh  
  
Professor:Only with sauce  
  
Wolf/Kelsie:yes please  
  
others: *shocked*  
Richard:u du fromage  
  
Professor:Macaroni and cheese isn't even real cheese  
  
Eun-Ji: Shrimp chips aren't your average potato chips  
  
Kelsie:I can't speak english  
  
Hyung:No Hablo engles  
Richard:BUT HYUNG COMMUNISM IS MY WEAKNESS YOU PUT THAT DOWN  
  
Eun-Ji: takes picture on her phone  
  
Odelia: what beautiful music  
  
Professor:eeeeeey Kelsie you forgot the hammer man  
  
you can't touch this  
  
Adrian:I'm scared puts on vaporwave now I'm not  
(Richard and Hyung are playing soccer)  
Hyung:Richard seriously here's a red card  
  
Richard:*screams* r-red  
All of us:WE ARE LAZY  
  
Rudi:DON'T LOOK AT ME  
  
Adrian:OR ME  
  
Kelsie: I HAVE MY HANDS UP  
Wolf: stares at the Professor  
  
Rudi: is angry:TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY FEELINGS chases him  
  
Adrian:Bad acting smug isn't stopping your chances of death any more likely  
  
Richard:GUYS let's just get over the fact our mother tongue language is hard to translate and all it a day  
  
Hyung:Zhopa (ass in russian)  
  
Richard:*screams* did I just hear a russian word shivers  
  
hold me  
  
Kelsie:I barely know my own language  
  
  
Professor: *breathes* Why do I exist?  
Richard:EUROVISION CINNAMON ROLL  
  
Hyung:hey wanna ride this hentai squid that can choke you  
  
  
Professor: DEATH PAIN BLEACH TRAIN CRASHES LIGHTING BOLTS DESPAIR RAWR tries and fails at singing a metal song  
  
Rudi: I've never had brothers before but if I had these people as brothers I'd try to forget their existence  
  
Kelsie:uhhhhhhh ummmmm Token Goth girl winks  
  
Adrian: I’m Adrian and today I'll be pandering to my fans once a again making fun of the working class in the form of a challenge where I will be defended by 13 year olds  
  
Police siren is overheard  
  
Adrian:buy my t-shirts  
  
Odelia:OH MY EUROVISION'S SWEETIE PIE IS ADORABLE  
  
Hee:um who wants cake?  
Rudi:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm colder than Antarctica  
  
Antarctica: excuse you  
  
Kelsie:but this candy is delicious  
  
Richard:he wants to enter your candy store  
  
Rudi:Richard get out  
  
Adrian:did you have a fetishised intercourse with clothes on?  
  
Professor:no they just got stuck in the fridge  
Kelsie *a cracked egg lands on her head where a lemon comes out*  
  
Rudi:What have I told you about doing drugs  
  
Kelsie:since when did you watch american public service annoucements?  
Kelsie: coughs chokes wheezes sleeps  
  
Rudi *in a wolf costume*:Hello? opens the door  
  
Rudi:looks like I don't have to eat with red ridding hood anymore  
  
Rudi:I guess I'll just eat by myself  
  
Kelsie in her mind:I'd like some food  
  
  
Kelsie: *stands up* can I have some does puppy face  
  
Rudi:Ok


	20. short story 20: Ran out of ideas

RIchard,Hyung,Adrian,Rudi,The Professor,Eun-Ji and Kelsie were causing drama at Starbucks

Do you even know the context of what you are saying? Richard questioned coldly

Hyung slurpped a frappe very loudly to distract himself from the drama  
Adrian shouted "WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST MALE EXISTENCE IF WE DIDN'T HAVE EVE AND APHRODITE THEN FEMALES WOULDN'T EVEN EXIST????"  
  
Rudi was getting tired of the argument "I demand that you stop this nonsense right now"  
  
Hyung badly rapped "I'm your cis sister"

Eun-Ji wasn't amused "My brother is like sooooo cringy right now"  
  
Kelsie simply said "and this is why I'm a egalitarian" before eating her chocolate cake

(cutaway gag)

  
The Professor was running around Adrian in a circle holding a furby toy cheerfully singing "happy furby happy furby everywhere you go happy furby happy furby it survives in the snow happy furby happy furby you will never rest because happy furby is the best"

Adrian was annoyed by that   
  
The Professor sung it again for the next few days  
until one day while The Professor was watching Gremlins in the dark  
  
Adrian sneaked up and smashed the furby with a hammer  
  
The Professor got scared "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there's been a murder I MUST OPERATE"   
  
Adrian yelled "IT'S ONLY ME YOUR GENDER CONFUSED BROTHER ADRIAN"  
  
The Professor didn't believe him ":ahhhhhh I didn't know it could manipulate people"  
  
the noise had woken up Rudi as he flicked on the living room light which made The Professor jump  
  
The Professor over dramatically screamed "ahhhh a Emo kid just broke into my house" which made Rudi roll his eyes   
  
Rudi: *rolling his eyes*

(cutaway gag)

Richard and Hyung were at a Japanese Restaraunt  
"want me to lick the frosting off that fairy cookie Hyung?" Richard seductively suggested licking his tongue   
Hyung replied "do you want me to be human sushi?"  
Richard was disgusted "On second thought no thanks I hate fish"

(cutaway gag)

and now in a hotel located in torquay with horrid reviews on Yelp where Kelsie is being a bad hotel manager to some austrian guests  
  
Kelsie is in a suit complaining "You started it"

Rudi sitting in his chair answered back "We did not start it"  
  
Kelsie complained in a British accent "Yes you did you invaded Poland"  
  
Richard then played a airhorn "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh"  
  
Hyung did the same while throwing money about   
throws money  
  
Kelsie shouted "Who won the bloody war anyway"?  
  
The Professor whined "Nobody according to society today"   
  
Adrian was in a formal suit  whispering something not politically correct to the Professor's ear

which he scolded him for "Now Adrian what did I tell you about bad language"


	21. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rudi finally meets "Harry" while Richard and Hyung say their goodbyes when Hyung is given the opportunity to be a backup dancer for a kpop group

Richard took his interest in art and did art commissions  
  
Hyung decided to audition for a Kpop band and got accepted even if he finds a new love Richard will always be the closest friend he has on his contacts that and he got a bad haircut (man bun) aswell as a change in personality (he's more laid back and chill now even if he's still a bit of a hardass sometimes)  
  
Adrian sorted his personality out and got some of his past memories back which will be revealed in the spin off fanfic The Matzelbergers

  
  
The Professor decided to do something about his weight but is there something else he is hiding  
  
Rudi had found "Harry" so now he would no longer have uncharged moments because all the memories and thoughts of his soul holder would be in harry instead of him so now his A.I took up his programming so he was now no longer associated with his soul holder 

 (Harry) is like the old middle aged version of his soul holder but he's also is like a 60s sitcom stereotype he and Rudi are technically twins of sorts  
  
he treats Rudi like a little sibling he never got to have even though Rudi is not as short as he was before

(follow their adventures in the spin off sequel series The Matzelbergers)  
  
Odelia got a bit tired after all the adventures she did in the past (spying) so she decided to take up a new more relaxing hobby VIDEO GAMES! oh and cosplaying  
  
Eun-Ji joined Hyung in Seoul while Hyung would be practicing his choreography Eun-Ji would practicing her self defense skills for her new career as a stunt devil in K Drama's  
  
It was fun but stereotypes were clogging up the joke box,the author developed nightmares prevented them from thinking of scenario ideas so let's just end on the stereotype reference half of the cast literally are

Richard is in the living room and randomly makes a duck impression "quack"

Hyung asked "but Richard you're bi"?  
  
Richard grinned "I know but am I licensed medical expert?"  
there was awkward silence   
  
Richard said "exactly"  
  
Harry  is doting on his old baby pictures "aww you and I looked so cute"  
  
Rudi  responded " I can train the ghost of Blondi to bite you and will if I need to"

  
Kelsie was on a skype video chat with Rudi later on showing him a funny meme she found  (the send me your cutest delivery boy meme but with a person related to rudi's soul holder in the picture holding a pizza)

Kelsie mocked "awwwww look at you"  
  
Rudi blushed annoyed "that's not me that's someone posing as me"  
  
Kelsie continued "but still look at you"  
  
Rudi coldly stared "that's not me he looks more like Basil Fawlty"  
  
Kelsie's eyes turned 

Rudi cringed "don't"

Kelsie then casually stopped "Well I warned you my cringe level is quite severe"

then a few days later it was time for the break up when Hyung had to take his flight to Korea

Richard had met up with Hyung at the airport before take off   
  
Richard congratulated "that's great that the Kpop band accepted you as their background dancer"  
  
Hyung solemnly said  "I know I'll be making something with my life"  
  
Hyung explained "now Richard I need to say" inhaling  
  
"I do love you, you are a great friend and lover who I've loved being in the presence with for 65 years   
but I've been a huge jerk with my anger taking up my personality and I don't want anything dangerous to happen down the line with my drunken violence and your at times extreme hyper sexual tendencies"

"you are a dick sometimes but you showed me the world and now I'm going finish the journey"  
  
Richard was whimpering when Hyung gave him a long hug and final smooch "I was your nukecase and you were my dickhead I'll remember our times together fondly from our pillow fights and fashion faux pahs to when you first reached out to me when nobody else would on that cold Ukrainian battleground  _너밖에 없어 (There's no one like you) 사랑해요 (I love you)._

 _they had a few more intense cuddles before it was unfortunately time to say goodbye  "Ich werde dich nie vergessen (I'll never forget you_ mein einziger Freund (my only boyfriend)" were the last words they said to each other before Hyung walked inside the plane and Richard went home.

 Richard is enjoying the 80s/2010s universe so much that he's forgetting hyung even existed but it's making him happier  
  
he,Professor and Adrian started up a new wave band called Pixie Dust Candy  
  
Kelsie is still living in that universe  
  
Adrian feels connected he's telling tales of his past,making cameos in crossover pieces and he is prideful of his cyborg identity inspired by the band kero kero bonito he isn't a boy or a girl he's a super computer  
  
  
The End


End file.
